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TUESDAY POETRY CHALLENGE 6-15/22...a little late :)
Posted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 7:12 pm
Wanted to hold over the previous challenge but we have no further takers, so might as well start anew.
1. Choose one person and express in a poem your connection...not in the familial sense but in the mystical or emotional sense.
2. Build a poem from this word list please..
cross, key, witness, litter, yield, bend, fragile, midway, pursue, wind
3. Do you remember a moment that, however brief, was pure magic.
Tell us how it was..
Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 12:55 pm
mlou... thank you for keeping this up - it's been pretty dead around here but having these posted at least periodically gets me going so i, for one, appreciate it.
Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 12:56 pm
Hi, ms...I do hate to see the poetry pages slip into limbo.
Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 3:34 pm
we are lovers,
though we have not embraced.
each knows well the other's thoughts
though we have not spoken.
we speak without speech,
love without touch,
we are complete.
Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 3:37 pm
Very evocative, ms..and a title too!
May I suggest
"each knows well the other's thoughts...
Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 3:42 pm
much better... i tripped over that line but knew what i wanted it to SAY... just not how to say it.
Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 3:44 pm
It's so maddening when that happens. You KNOW what you want to convey, yet the exact phrase continues to elude...
Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 6:52 pm
#2 word list
The key to his reason for being
lay in the cross that he bore,
as he bent to his cumbersome burden.
Yet those who witnessed his shame
and his everlasting glory
did not understand. They expected
a king not a suffering savior,
and yielded their fragile belief.
Pursued by fear, they scattered
like litter before the wind,
denying, denying, denying,
as he predicted they would.
Midway in their flight, they paused
to mourn their unfaithfulness.
Just as we, knowing the reason,
who ARE the reason he came,
try and fail and weep for that failure
and are forgiven...again.
Alright, I don't know where this came from. I came onto the thread, started to write from the list, and this is what came out..just as it came out, and without, as yet, a title.
Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 9:45 am
I also appreciate your steadfastness, mlou. Here's my wordlist offering.
Wearing a bloodied cap, the cross stood,
key witness to the carnage of previous days.
Litters yielded up their broken fruit,
bent and fragile.
Midway through youth,
pursued by death,
young men’s names echoed
on the wind.
Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 11:15 am
(after Wallace Stevens)
One must have a mind of wilderness
To regard the road and the sky
Both seemingly without end;
And have traveled a long time
To behold the junipers shagged with fur,
The spruces ripe with the scent
Of distant passings; and not to think
Of any misery in the sound of howling,
In the sound of padded paws,
Which is the sound of the dog
Full of scents and sounds
That are traveling in the same place
As the human who walks along,
And, nothing herself, beholds
Nothing that the dog does not disclose.
Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 11:54 am
Mae...very poignant image and great use of the words. I especially like the last 2 lines. Funny what different pictures one list of ten words can inspire. I do love the word lists.
Lilac...so happy to see you dropping by. Missed you. It's been a while, hasn't it?
As to The Dog...really, really like it. It's so nicely "together"! I'm always saying I'm going to read more Wallace Stevens and then, of course, time carries me along to do something else.
Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 12:10 pm
Mlou! That's a lot of words for you! But I like it - especially "denying, denying, denying." Isn't that really what we do, over and over? There is one line I think you should take a look at and that's the third line in. You've got us focused on the cross in the previous two lines, cross being the subject of your sentence, but then you say "bent by his cumbersome burden." It sounds as though the cross is being bent by his burden. I don't think that's what you mean. Unless I misread it - which has happened before (like...yesterday!!!
Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 12:12 pm
Lilac, I love the feel enjambment gives a poem, sort of hesitating, then proceeding on. Kind of like walking a dog!!!
Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 12:14 pm
Mslover, I like your poem - a lot - but I'd like it better if I knew who you were talking about.
But I do like it, anyway.
Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 12:41 pm
mae, the structure of the poem is Stevens', after his poem "The Snowman". I just used it to illustrate the connection between dog and human.
Your piece is effective ... sad, but effective.
Mlou, yours is, may I say, inspired.
and Ms' poem is sweet and compact.
Lovely work everyone.
Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 1:51 pm
Hey, eagle eyed mae,
, I saw that as soon as it was posted but had no time to go back and change it. Figured "tomorrow" would do. Slapped on a temporary fix but still not happy with it.
I am usually a bug about that sort of grammatical sloppiness. It was all just pouring out at the time and mustn't interrupt the flow for fear of losing it. I realized afterward that inadvertently I had emphasized the "you shall deny me 3 times" by that repetition...which was serendipitous.
I'm happy we had some really good responses to this challenge. Any more coming??
Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 9:05 pm
#3 (This was not created for this challenge but I remembered I had it and felt it fit the category. It appeared in Byline Magazine, when it won first prize in one of their poetry contests.) Also it had certain indentations, etc. that the format here ignores, so I can't create the spaces it should have.)
It might have been Eden again.
Blades of grass sheathed in light
turned at my footfall, clothed
me in silence. Convocations
of bees offered dithyrambs among the
ivory bells of blueberries
where he lay beneath their canopy,
haloed by guard-hairs tipped
At my indrawn breath, he rose
from his dream
of mice and moonlight.
yoked by the weight of
sunwarmth on our shoulders,
hearts beating the same
it might have been Eden again...
until we remembered who
and what we were.