POETRY CHALLENGE - Week of 07/14/09

Want to write a poem but can't think of a new idea? Here's the place for inspiration.

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mslover
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POETRY CHALLENGE - Week of 07/14/09

Postby mslover » Tue Jul 14, 2009 1:33 pm

Although there have not been many offerings in this lately, I will submit a new couple of challenges for your inspiration (i hope). So here we go:

1. Word list: essence, thought, fervid, shield, petal, rely, distance

2. Use the letter R to inspire a poem, perhaps one of the following: rapture, rage, reluctant, revision, reflect....

3. Use the following image and create a poem around it:


Image

Okay, let's see whatcha got!

"Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories - we've already missed the spring"

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning how to dance in the rain."
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mae
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Postby mae » Thu Jul 16, 2009 2:57 pm

#3 - photo It's that time of year

One Trombone Leads My Parade


What a wonderful morning,
sitting beside you on the curb,
catching flying candy,
dodging the tiny squirting fire truck.

The color guard passes
and veterans rise.
Creaking knees and bent backs
that won’t be chasing candy
pay their respects.

The rodeo queen’s horse prances,
twirling in a circle,
showing off its fancy trappings.
Pooper scoopers follow, restoring dignity.

Oh, there’s some candy! Get it!
The sun is shining hotly now,
and the parade is ending.
You’ve got a bagful of Tootsie Pops.

Summer in America. A small parade
down the main street of a small town.
What a wonderful morning
sitting beside you on the curb.


mae
My heart beats in poetry. I think in rhythm and dream in rhyme.

Give me a crit! I can take it!

CELTIC QUEEN, an Epic Poem, Cynthia M. Bateman, amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore ... +Epic+Poem at Tate Publishing
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Postby LizGrayson » Wed Aug 05, 2009 2:56 pm

Mae, this reminds me of Garrison Keillor for some reason. Especially the theme song to Prairie Home Companion. (yep, I'm an NPR geek!). My only crit so far is that I think it reads better if you take small out before parade in the fourth line from the end, but that's just my opinion.
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Postby Mlou » Wed Aug 05, 2009 4:35 pm

I like it Mae. I don't mind "small town" at all. It fits. What I do mind...you know me...is the use of small twice so close together. Maybe a "fine parade"? I like the image of the veterans rising for the flag. I've seen it. I would switch, making bent backs first, then creaking knees. Seems like it would be more the knees than the backs that would do the chasing.
I laughed when Pooper scooper was followed so nearly, by Oh there's some candy. I knew it was a different thought but the picture popped into my head.
Nice job!
nothing is ever simply Yes or No. There's always a But...


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Postby Mlou » Wed Aug 05, 2009 5:34 pm

CONSUMMATION

The thought
that I rely upon with
fervid hope,
my shield
against the fall of night,
the curtain drawn like
closing petals
of a morning glory,
is that distance vanishes.
When essence alone
remains, all things
are one.
nothing is ever simply Yes or No. There's always a But...





GINGERBREAD MAN by Mary Lou Healy at Amazon.com http://www.publishamerica.com/shopping/ ... ogid=16658 at Publish America
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Postby mae » Sat Aug 08, 2009 2:28 am

mlou, the smalls were purposely done close together for emphasis, but since I got 2 negative comments on it, perhaps I'll change it. Thank you and Liz for your comments.

Right now I am sitting in an upstairs room in a house located in a suburb of Stockholm, Sweden. mlou, your poem struck a chord with me because everyone else here (except for me and my twin grandsons) are obsessing over a wedding. The twins' mother - my former daughter-in-law - is getting remarried and they are tending to details. Today is the day and they're worrying about programs and who is going to pay the singers! The groom is a perfectionist, a kind one, but a perfectionist nonetheless, so telling him it doesn't matter is wasted breath.

I'll write some poems about this beautiful place when I come home.

mae
My heart beats in poetry. I think in rhythm and dream in rhyme.



Give me a crit! I can take it!



CELTIC QUEEN, an Epic Poem, Cynthia M. Bateman, amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore ... +Epic+Poem at Tate Publishing
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Postby Mlou » Sat Aug 08, 2009 9:25 am

How wonderful! Enjoy the differences while you're there.
Isn't it strange how we obsess about details sometimes? Just the way we humans are.
nothing is ever simply Yes or No. There's always a But...





GINGERBREAD MAN by Mary Lou Healy at Amazon.com http://www.publishamerica.com/shopping/ ... ogid=16658 at Publish America
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Postby Saphyre » Mon Aug 10, 2009 9:43 am

Mae- I didn't mind the double small, but then I'm not an expert. I liked the flow of the piece overall, it sort of read like a parade. BUT, you forgot one important part: the boyscout float. They always do something worth mentioning. That was what I first though of when it was over, "where's the boyscouts?" Other than that, great!
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Postby Mlou » Tue Aug 11, 2009 12:16 pm

#2 rugged


In rugged lands,
unmanicured by man,
nature rules. Stark
spine of earth thrusts upward,
shoulders aside trees.
Twisted pines
cling to their roothold,
shaped by scouring winds.
This is a place
waiting for tomorrow.
nothing is ever simply Yes or No. There's always a But...





GINGERBREAD MAN by Mary Lou Healy at Amazon.com http://www.publishamerica.com/shopping/ ... ogid=16658 at Publish America
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Postby Mlou » Tue Aug 11, 2009 12:24 pm

One seat on the aisle,
please. It's lonely
watching the passing show,
no one with whom to laugh,
to comment on
the absurdity of things,
to share a sudden
glimpse of beauty.
Perhaps someone will
happen by and smile.
Perhaps.
nothing is ever simply Yes or No. There's always a But...





GINGERBREAD MAN by Mary Lou Healy at Amazon.com http://www.publishamerica.com/shopping/ ... ogid=16658 at Publish America
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Postby mslover » Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:06 pm

Reluctance

listen
tho i am silent
tho tears don't fall,
your reluctance to engage
my soul
leaves me vacant.

"Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories - we've already missed the spring"

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning how to dance in the rain."
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Postby mae » Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:51 pm

Mlou, I missed Consummation earlier. I don't think it says as much as you usually say (or maybe its meaning just sailed past me. That's certainly possible!) - but what lovely wording!

my shield
against the fall of night,
the curtain drawn like
closing petals
of a morning glory,



This is just gorgeous! mae
My heart beats in poetry. I think in rhythm and dream in rhyme.



Give me a crit! I can take it!



CELTIC QUEEN, an Epic Poem, Cynthia M. Bateman, amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore ... +Epic+Poem at Tate Publishing
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Postby mae » Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:52 pm

One seat on the aisle,
please. It's lonely
watching the passing show,
no one with whom to laugh,
to comment on
the absurdity of things,
to share a sudden
glimpse of beauty.
Perhaps someone will
happen by and smile.
Perhaps.



This is just so cotton-pickin' sad! mae
My heart beats in poetry. I think in rhythm and dream in rhyme.



Give me a crit! I can take it!



CELTIC QUEEN, an Epic Poem, Cynthia M. Bateman, amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore ... +Epic+Poem at Tate Publishing
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Postby Fireflare77 » Sat Aug 22, 2009 3:49 am

#3, the picture

-The Winter Beach-

It's going to be a great day,
The equation can't add up to anything else.
The breezes are blowing,
Blowing through the beachside crowds.
The sun is shining bright,
Beckoning tanners to endulge themselves.

Rays of sunshine cascade,
As if frozen withinn a single frame of thought,
Down upon the waves below.

But there are few beachgoers today,
None can see the beach in winter,
Quite as we do- this we know for certian.
But you aren't here yet,
And I'm beginning to wonder why.

The few other beachgoers must be watching,
Thinking. "Who is that kid in that chair, over there?"
But let them stare,
you will be here soon.
You, the only one to answer them,
what with their silent accusitions and stares.

I swear that if you aren't here soon,
I may just blow away with the breeze,
Into the silent crowd with nowhere to go.
To be gone forever.

The breezes blow again,
Toussling the beautiful hair of another beachgoer.
Are you the one?
Last edited by Fireflare77 on Tue Aug 25, 2009 7:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Mlou
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Postby Mlou » Sun Aug 23, 2009 11:31 pm

Mae...In Consummation, the core of my thought was that once our material selves are gone/consumed and there is nothing left but our essence/spirit, then all things are one, and we are present in everything. Or so I hope. *smile*

And yes, that one chair sitting there just made me so sad. It is just the embodiment of aloneness. And that's what popped into my mind. So I guess I succeeded if it made you sad too.
nothing is ever simply Yes or No. There's always a But...





GINGERBREAD MAN by Mary Lou Healy at Amazon.com http://www.publishamerica.com/shopping/ ... ogid=16658 at Publish America
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Postby JillStar » Wed Aug 26, 2009 11:30 pm

The Bus Stop (#3)

Please see writing blog
Last edited by JillStar on Sun Oct 11, 2009 9:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby mae » Thu Aug 27, 2009 1:05 am

Oh, Jill, how beautiful, but how sad! mae
My heart beats in poetry. I think in rhythm and dream in rhyme.



Give me a crit! I can take it!



CELTIC QUEEN, an Epic Poem, Cynthia M. Bateman, amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore ... +Epic+Poem at Tate Publishing
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Mlou
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Postby Mlou » Thu Aug 27, 2009 2:00 pm

Really great job of characterizing loneliness.
nothing is ever simply Yes or No. There's always a But...





GINGERBREAD MAN by Mary Lou Healy at Amazon.com http://www.publishamerica.com/shopping/ ... ogid=16658 at Publish America
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Postby wordsfromherlips » Thu Aug 27, 2009 3:40 pm

That was really beautiful. Sad, though; resigned.
Wow.
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Postby JillStar » Thu Aug 27, 2009 5:53 pm

I'm thinking I might have been a little... what's the word... depressed? :? I've always been one to write poems from how I feel at that moment. 8)

Thank you for the nice praises... I appreciate them and feel good knowing I conveyed a bit of what I was feeling. :)
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