POETRY CHALLENGE - Oct. 4

Want to write a poem but can't think of a new idea? Here's the place for inspiration.

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Mlou
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POETRY CHALLENGE - Oct. 4

Postby Mlou » Mon Oct 03, 2005 8:13 pm

1. We haven't had a word list in a while, so...craft a poem containing these:
plumes, fitted, tranquil, bits, sharp, splendid, bell, bones

2. Write a poem about FALLING. Falling in love, over a cliff, apart, asleep...whatever.

3. Inspirational quote of the week:
"It's not the meaning of life, but the meaning in life." Rbt. Fulghum
nothing is ever simply Yes or No. There's always a But...


GINGERBREAD MAN by Mary Lou Healy at Amazon.com http://www.publishamerica.com/shopping/ ... ogid=16658 at Publish America
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sarjane
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Postby sarjane » Mon Oct 03, 2005 9:25 pm

I'll post this poem here since I'm not having much luck in the Poetry Writing Group (and it is about falling...in love). I'll write a new poem for the challenge, too.

Something Beautiful
S. Balderas

To leave home and drive out of town
Leads the mind to wander
The back roads of the soul.

Even now, as I drive out
Of this small Texas town
With the hint of oil in the air,

I listen to a Clem Snide song called
“Something Beautiful”
and begin to think of something beautiful

like love,
a cool autumn day,
or a favorite song played on the radio.

I think about how I’ve only ever
Been in love once,
But after reading Billy Collins’s poem

About falling in love with
A little brown mouse
And a pale green soap dish,

I realize that I, too,
Have loved the world
aimlessly.

I realize how often
I’ve fallen for the same
white horse grazing in the fields,

crooked wooden fences,
snapshots of scenes that will
never see the light of day.

I’ve fallen for the cows
Like plastic toys on the plains,
Sun-baked logs of hay,

The whites of store signs
Browned to a shade
That can only come

From the slow passage of time,
Houses painted in pastel shades,
The smell of metal and rain.

I remember the time I held my breath—
It was just after sunrise,
I was ascending a hill—

And the countryside opened wide
like the scene on a paper fan
slowly unfolding,

And that day held the promise
Of something beautiful,
of something I was unable to say.
all lines, poems © S. Balderas

"All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them." --Isak Dinesen
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funkywriter3
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Postby funkywriter3 » Mon Oct 03, 2005 10:02 pm

Just a little practice with my poetry, so please be gentle.

The Fall from Heaven


Their greed
Encased their sense of reason
Their self absorbtion
Encased their sense of perspective
They fell
A most painful fall
Straight from paradise
To the abyss of Hell
Wallowing in the mud of self pity
Their naked flesh was revealed
Remaining hidden was no option
The Fall
Made them known
For the rest
Of time

Funky
" The purpose of a writer is to keep civilization from destroying itself."- Albert Camus

"Writers will happen in the best of families."
-Rita Mae Brown

" Do not ask a poet to explain himself, he cannot." - Plato
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bard_of_life
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Postby bard_of_life » Tue Oct 04, 2005 8:46 am

1) The Fall of Heaven
Clinton Hodnett

Plumes of fire
Fitted into place like stained glass.
The tranquil bits of heaven
Falling to the flames
With a sharp sincerity
Redundant of those times long gone
Where all hell rose.
The splendid arches of hellfire
Sweeping over the land
Claiming those not claimed by heaven.
The spell of time
Taking its toll
On everything including
The old withered bones.

2) Bittersweet Lover

Her lips are streched out cherries
Begging to be tasted,
Like the apples in her eyes
Or are those priceless rubies?
Hope Diamond blush
From the core of earth itself.
Overall a beautiful picture
In any man's eyes.

Underneath, though, hides a secret
A lie long concealed.
It tears at her esscence
Like those angry rats in a bucket.
She seems the perfect woman,
But is truly the greatest lie.
For terror beyond measure
Is hidden within her eyes.

It takes a wit to see it,
One that few posess:
But one that all the while
Sits upon her kiss.
True love is her undoing,
As loving her is mine.
So to save us all I must banish us,
To an endless, falling circle of broken hearts and lies.

3) Not sure what I could do with this, so I didn't do it.... Not yet anyhow.


Author's Note:

Hey, they're my first poem in a long time, so don't laugh! I said don't laugh! I mean you... whoever you are laughing in the back!

Anyhow, leaving crazymode, these were in fact my first poems in a long time. My first good ones, anyhow. Thanks for the inspiration mlou! It felt good to experience a little writing persperation! Haha, I made a funny! Well, anyhow, thanks a lot for getting me on the right track with this, I might just work on an old novel now! Yahoo!! (Not the email, the exclamation lol!)
Life is a parchment that no matter how many times you blot ink on it, you can't bring yourself to crumple it.
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Mlou
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Postby Mlou » Tue Oct 04, 2005 1:19 pm

Beautiful, Sarjane. Just right as it is yet I might leave out the ever at only ever.

Very, very nice, funky! Consider one things...angels (we are told) are not flesh and blood but spirit, even the fallen ones, I assume. So you might consider another word...naked selves, maybe? or naked something.

Good images on your first one, bard. I'm not quite sure of your use of redundant here...in its meaning of superfluous or unnecessarily repetitious.
Your second poem is working but I think it hits the reader with too many comparisons all at once..cherries, apples, rubies, diamonds..the mind keeps changing mental pictures too fast. :) It's a bit difficult to grasp just what her fault is...is it fear? is it true love? if so, why?
nothing is ever simply Yes or No. There's always a But...





GINGERBREAD MAN by Mary Lou Healy at Amazon.com http://www.publishamerica.com/shopping/ ... ogid=16658 at Publish America
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funkywriter3
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Postby funkywriter3 » Tue Oct 04, 2005 6:03 pm

Mlou I guess I am confused, were Adam and Eve angels? I always thought they were man, but did that occur after the fall?
" The purpose of a writer is to keep civilization from destroying itself."- Albert Camus



"Writers will happen in the best of families."

-Rita Mae Brown



" Do not ask a poet to explain himself, he cannot." - Plato
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Mlou
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Postby Mlou » Tue Oct 04, 2005 8:09 pm

No, they were human,of course, funky. But I thought you were referring to the fallen angels who went straight to the abyss of Hell, it's said, which is why I picked up on the rebellious angels.
Adam and Eve fell from grace but were just expelled from Eden, right? So it wasn't clear (to me anyway) who you were referring to. :)
nothing is ever simply Yes or No. There's always a But...





GINGERBREAD MAN by Mary Lou Healy at Amazon.com http://www.publishamerica.com/shopping/ ... ogid=16658 at Publish America
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Mlou
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Postby Mlou » Tue Oct 04, 2005 8:19 pm

I like your use of form, Jill. We don't use it often enough, and I always like the rhythm of repeat lines. Original presentation of your subject matter too. Glad everyone is trying the "falling" challenge.
nothing is ever simply Yes or No. There's always a But...





GINGERBREAD MAN by Mary Lou Healy at Amazon.com http://www.publishamerica.com/shopping/ ... ogid=16658 at Publish America
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funkywriter3
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Postby funkywriter3 » Tue Oct 04, 2005 8:20 pm

Oh okay. I interpret Earth as "Hell" because all of the bad things that goes on here, so that's where I was coming from. Thanks for looking at that! :D
" The purpose of a writer is to keep civilization from destroying itself."- Albert Camus



"Writers will happen in the best of families."

-Rita Mae Brown



" Do not ask a poet to explain himself, he cannot." - Plato
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JillStar
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Postby JillStar » Wed Oct 05, 2005 7:27 pm

Thank you Mlou... I have to admit that when I start out writing a poem, I don't necessarily have a form in mind. There are times when I purposely avoid form... but in this case, it really felt right!
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