FF - She drank the poison slowly with one eye shut

Fast Fiction is fiction written fast. The object is to get your brain thinking about a given subject without interference from “reason”. Go for the 30 minute time limit.

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JillStar
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FF - She drank the poison slowly with one eye shut

Postby JillStar » Fri Nov 07, 2008 9:11 pm

jillstar wrote: Fast Fiction is just that... fiction written fast. Please visit What is FAST FICTION for more information.

Look at the subject for today's Fast Fiction at the end of this post... once you have the slightest beginning to your story… begin to write. Don't stop to ponder the meaning behind your writing or try to "fix" it so it's perfect... just write.

If you want to include your Fast Fiction finished product on WordTrip, simply add it to this thread. We would love it!

REMINDER: Please keep your stories PG13 if posted on the site. If you want a critique after you are complete, please consider using your writing group for help in that area or send a PM to one of us.

... try to stick to the 30 minutes time limit... ready, set... WRITE!

SUBJECT: She drank the poison slowly with one eye shut...
Last edited by JillStar on Sat Dec 06, 2008 10:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
Fast Fiction Friday Blog 2011-2018: Additional FFF Prompts
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Postby Hissmonster » Sat Nov 22, 2008 10:39 pm

This one is too good to let just linger and die...anyone want to try it??

How about a spoof?
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Postby Mlou » Sun Nov 23, 2008 10:37 am

Deleted while I work on it and maybe even submit. :) .
Last edited by Mlou on Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby timberline » Sun Nov 23, 2008 1:14 pm

A Medieval gumshoe! Lovin' it! That's my kind of nouveau Beaujolais. And so few people know what a "moue" is. Keep up the good work. This needs to be published.
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Postby Mlou » Sun Nov 23, 2008 3:14 pm

Lol, timber...you reminded me of the editor at P.A. who replaced my word moue with mouth. Evidently didn't know what a moue was! An editor, mind you! Of course, after my cyberscream, they put moue back where it belonged.
As for writing more on it, you're kidding. No plans for that. This was 10 minutes of fast typing with no editing and no thought to eventual plot or outcome. Just wanted to contribute my bit to keep the thread going.
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Postby Writingmom » Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:42 am

I really like your version, Mlou, but I'm thinking I need to try it...



Laughter rang through the drafty hall, drifting to the dark corner where she stood, heavy crystal glass in hand.

Of course they were laughing...they had laughed her out of the room. Her eyes burned with unshed tears as she fingered the thick velvet of her new gown -- the one she'd been waiting for and dreaming of for months. The one they had mocked and decried and pointed out every flaw...

She took a shuddering breath and turned to the little window that was cut into the alcove, clutching the crystal so hard in both hands that it was cutting into her skin.

All she'd ever wanted was to be part of her brother's court. She knew that she'd never be accepted as a courtesan, but if she could just mingle and get to know how they acted and perhaps becomes friends...

But no. The only time her brother finally invited her and hired a dresser for her, and it ended a dismal failure. How could she have known that such material was out of fashion? The dressmaker hadn't breathed a word, just went on and on about how glorious it would look on madame, and didn't it enhance her russet colored hair...

Her hair. That had been another object that they'd marked upon. Such a color couldn't be natural, could it? Surely she applied some kind of potion to it that enticed all males to be fascinated, wouldn't she share it with them all?

No one had been sincere. No one had made any kind remarks. Not even her brother had come down from his throne and admonished them. He'd simply sat with his wife at his side, chatting with her and ignoring the layered insult after insult leveled at his youngest sister.

How dare they? Her anger and humiliation burned a hole in her heart so large she was sure that it was visible.

She had been contemplating before this 'opportunity' that it was time for things to change. She was tired of living in her brother's shadow, being forbidden to do anything of substance, and ignored by everyone else. She hadn't made any friends since coming to this frigid country, and she wished her brother would have let her stay at home. What had her parents been thinking?

Well fine. Tonight had shown her that her dearest wishes were not going to come true. There was nothing much left for her than to follow her plan.

She looked down at the goblet, mentally rehearsing the ingredients the old witch had given her.

"You are from the special line," the woman had ground out. "This is the finest potion in the world, it will give you powers equal to none."

She hadn't believed her. In fact, she fully expected to get a sick stomach and simply make a further fool out of herself...but the idea wouldn't leave her alone, and she found herself making up the drink and keeping it at her side always. Tonight she had hidden it here, just in case -- or that's what she'd told herself.

Well, it was time.

She drank the poison slowly, with one eye shut -- almost as if she was expecting someone to burst in on her. The drought went down smoothly, if not with a bit of fire, and she set the goblet down with a sigh.

Even that had been a lie.

Then she blinked and gripped her middle, feeling as if something strange was happening. The room seemed to spin and her insides felt as if she were on a ship in a storm. She flung out her hand to catch hold of the window sill, and sparks flew from her fingers.

She groaned as the potion worked it's way through her body, wondering what had happened. Had the witch been right?

The air seemed tinged with smoke and she smelled fire. When she finally was able to stand straight without pain, she opened her eyes in dismay to see the castle had been destroyed around her. Only a few walls remained, smoking and black. She had grown a couple of inches, her dress now smoke stained and tattered that she'd loved and admired only an hour before.

"What, what happened?" she gasped, putting shaking hands to her face.

"I told you that your line was powerful," the witch seemed to appear from the darkness outside the ruins, stepping carefully over the blackened stones.

"But what has happened to everyone?" she cried, fear in her heart -- what had happened to her brother?

"They're all dead." Came the harsh answer. "You killed them -- all of them. Awakening to one's power isn't a pretty thing."

She threw back her head and screamed a cry of pain and mourning into the clear night sky.



I don't know...kind of lame, I guess. But such is life... 8)
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Postby Mlou » Tue Feb 03, 2009 11:36 am

Not lame. I think it's an interesting take on the challenge. Hey, maybe she's powerful enough to bring them back, suitably humbled, of course. One thing, writingmom, I don't think you mean to have her bemoaning the fact that she'd never be a courtesan because the meaning was actually a high-class, um, you know.
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Postby mae » Tue Feb 03, 2009 12:54 pm

I haven't read the others yet, but I've another poem, if you don't mind. A ballad this time - and I must confess, this took much longer than half an hour. I got going and forgot about that restriction.

A HOLLYWOOD BALLAD


She drank the poison with one eye shut
and watched for his reaction.
'Twas because of him she drank it down
and received her satisfaction.

He cared not for her, nor she for him,
though she'd loved him once she thought.
To him she was only a dollar sign,
the Golden Goose he'd sought.

A movie mogul with beautiful girls
for every night of the week,
he loved being seen with one on each arm
and a lipstick smear on his cheek.

She'd come to audition straight off the farm
and thought his attentions were real.
He moved her into a bungalow
and there her affections he'd steal.

She left the love she'd known since a child
though he begged her not to go.
She'd believed instead her future lay here
with her producer to help her grow.

For a time it seemed she'd chosen well
and her days were looking bright.
The studio got rich from her cover girl looks
and the producer came home each night.

The studio offered her a lucrative deal
but the contract had a curious twist.
You see she'd found her big shot lover
in her bed in a three-way tryst.

She thought of back home and all she'd left
and she knew that she'd been used.
She'd insisted on a contract clause
to avenge the callous abuse.

Were she to be harmed in any way,
the producer's job would be gone.
No more girls or nights on the town;
no longer a Tinseltown icon.

She showed him the page that held his fate
then poured a glass of rose'.
She added drops from an unmarked glass
and drank down the dark bouquet.

She closed one eye when death bathed her tongue,
as if winking at a grisly joke.
She'd won the game, though at such a cost,
when the producer's heart she broke.


mae
Last edited by mae on Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby timberline » Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:08 pm

Mlou, forget the PM I just sent. I got it. Will be back to you shortly with some thoughts about markets.
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Postby Mlou » Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:12 pm

okay. Do you get P. Castro's flash fiction bulletin?
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Postby timberline » Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:24 pm

No, just the Duotrope newsletter. I'm not a flash writer, but have done a few stories. Hard for me to stay under a thousand words, and doing 500 for www.365tomorrows.com (sci fi) is near impossible. Am looking at the Opinion Guy now (http://theopinionguy.com/) and have 800 words out to them.

For such a short piece, you might want to consider Everyday Fiction, a non-paying market. Some good writers (ones I like, at any rate) publish there. (www.everydayfiction.com). Big Pulp and Bewildering Stories offers broad diversity of genres and pay a few bucks, Have stories coming up in each of them shortly.
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Postby Mlou » Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:43 pm

Well, I came up in the "25 words or less" era of contest writing, so I'm happy with real shorties but I've never submitted anything to the markets in that line. Just regular short stories in print magazines, many of which, sadly, are now defunct. Are these all online pub's? And does 365 pay?
nothing is ever simply Yes or No. There's always a But...





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Postby timberline » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:44 pm

365 and EDF are online pubs and no, they don't pay.

Try http://www.flashfictiononline.com/submit.html for shorts 500-1000 words. Pays $50 for first electronic rights.

Now, to the story.... "Antibodies" is anachronistic to the Medieval setting. And, I'm a little leery of kings and courtiers (I don't read bodice rippers). What if the same set-up were applied to a Russian defector and his mistress? The KGB is always poisoning people.
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Postby Mlou » Tue Feb 03, 2009 5:04 pm

Good point!
nothing is ever simply Yes or No. There's always a But...





GINGERBREAD MAN by Mary Lou Healy at Amazon.com http://www.publishamerica.com/shopping/ ... ogid=16658 at Publish America

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