Leave Her Alone (Villanelle Form)

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JT
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Leave Her Alone (Villanelle Form)

Postby JT » Sat Jul 24, 2010 5:01 pm

Leave her alone so she can brood
About good men she berated
But please understand her bad mood

She wasn't nice and he was crude
Visions of love quickly faded
Leave her alone so she can brood

Ladies like her appear too shrewd
And, yes, she is a bit jaded
But please understand her bad mood

Wasn't it he who caused the feud
What happened to all they created
Leave her alone so she can brood

Wasn't it she for being rude
Slapping and hitting he hated
But please understand her bad mood

Now come the men who are so lewd
She's sick of being paraded
Leave her alone so she can brood
But please understand her bad mood
JT

Can't you hear the writing in the air? Ronnie James Dio (RIP)
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JT
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Re: Leave Her Alone (Villanelle Form)

Postby JT » Sat Jul 24, 2010 6:11 pm

Whoops. Mlou informed me that I had already posted this here somewhere and sometime in the past.
JT



Can't you hear the writing in the air? Ronnie James Dio (RIP)
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Mlou
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Postby Mlou » Sun Jul 25, 2010 1:59 pm

I do think I vaguely remember the 2 repeat lines but have no idea where we would find it now. You'd have to "find all posts by JT" and plow through them.
nothing is ever simply Yes or No. There's always a But...


GINGERBREAD MAN by Mary Lou Healy at Amazon.com http://www.publishamerica.com/shopping/ ... ogid=16658 at Publish America
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mae
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Postby mae » Mon Aug 09, 2010 10:17 am

You've chosen an interesting form such such an unhappy poem, JT. I don't know why, but I've always associated the villanelle with happy writes, perhaps because of the repeats. But this is definitely NOT a happy poem! And there is certainly no rule that a villanelle must be happy.

There is one line that is confusing to me:

Wasn't it she for being rude

Do you mean that she was rude also? I think the preposition "for" is confusing it for me.

I commend you for writing in form. Good job.

mae
My heart beats in poetry. I think in rhythm and dream in rhyme.

Give me a crit! I can take it!

CELTIC QUEEN, an Epic Poem, Cynthia M. Bateman, amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore ... +Epic+Poem at Tate Publishing
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Mlou
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Postby Mlou » Mon Aug 09, 2010 11:09 am

I took it that "she" was the rude one...commas might help:
wasn't it she, for being rude,
her slapping and hitting, he hated
or...I dunno
nothing is ever simply Yes or No. There's always a But...





GINGERBREAD MAN by Mary Lou Healy at Amazon.com http://www.publishamerica.com/shopping/ ... ogid=16658 at Publish America
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mae
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Postby mae » Mon Aug 09, 2010 12:04 pm

So now you're confused too, mlou? JT!!! :scratch:

mae
My heart beats in poetry. I think in rhythm and dream in rhyme.



Give me a crit! I can take it!



CELTIC QUEEN, an Epic Poem, Cynthia M. Bateman, amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore ... +Epic+Poem at Tate Publishing
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Mlou
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Postby Mlou » Mon Aug 09, 2010 1:33 pm

JT has cut his teeth on his older poems. Now it's time for him to give us some new ones to bite into...doncha think, mae?
nothing is ever simply Yes or No. There's always a But...





GINGERBREAD MAN by Mary Lou Healy at Amazon.com http://www.publishamerica.com/shopping/ ... ogid=16658 at Publish America
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mae
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Postby mae » Mon Aug 09, 2010 1:40 pm

Absolutely! :D

mae
My heart beats in poetry. I think in rhythm and dream in rhyme.



Give me a crit! I can take it!



CELTIC QUEEN, an Epic Poem, Cynthia M. Bateman, amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore ... +Epic+Poem at Tate Publishing

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