Paul's Punchy Poetic Punctuation

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PaulG
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Paul's Punchy Poetic Punctuation

Postby PaulG » Sat Jul 26, 2008 4:13 pm

Don’t want to be a punk
And have poems turn to junk
Because I was too late
To learn to punctuate.
I am not averse
To creating proper verse
And shall learn the proper function
To apply this needed unction.
I will endeavor forever to properly punctuate
Although I much prefer to ardently alliterate.
I shall be punctual with submission
But foremost shall be the mission
To be punctilious in punctuation
Through all days of writing’s infatuation.
Last edited by PaulG on Sun Jul 27, 2008 2:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
...and every now & then I spend my time at rhyme & verse & curse those faults in me...- "Along Comes Mary"- The Association

"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."- Steven Wright
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Mlou
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Postby Mlou » Sat Jul 26, 2008 5:48 pm

Why does this have "I am the very model of a modern major general" running through my head. I hear Gilbert and Sullivan! And not a comma dangling helplessly anywhere. :)
On line five, would "I forever will endeavor..." read more smoothly?
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musthavebeenmykarma
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Postby musthavebeenmykarma » Sun Jul 27, 2008 9:27 am

Cute PaulG, I agree, the first thing that pops into my head is Modern Major General :lol: or maybe The List, but definitely Gilbert and Sullivan worthy <g>

The last couple lines read a bit awkward rhythmically. I like Mlou's suggestion there. Also maybe replace "ambitiously" with "ardently" to fix the rhythm?

Also, what are your thoughts on the oxford comma? :-D
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Or at least a headbanging one.

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PaulG
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Postby PaulG » Sun Jul 27, 2008 2:25 pm

Mlou/Karma- I wish I played a musical instrument, then I could write songs! 8)

Mlou- I get your point on the "forever endeavor" I was just going for a few verbal hurdles if actually read aloud.

Karma- like the "ardently alliterate". Shall change. And as for my thoughts on commas, well I support their use wholeheartedly, whether imported or domestic! :wink:
...and every now & then I spend my time at rhyme & verse & curse those faults in me...- "Along Comes Mary"- The Association

"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."- Steven Wright
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Postby mae » Mon Jul 28, 2008 11:44 am

:D Oh, Paul, you do make me laugh! Loved your little ditty. I agree that the last two lines are off a bit. Don't have any suggestions - I figure anybody who can come up with this poem can figure out how to smooth the wrinkle.

Nicely done! mae
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Postby mslover » Mon Jul 28, 2008 12:47 pm

rock on paul! loved it. :)

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PaulG
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Postby PaulG » Mon Jul 28, 2008 8:44 pm

Mae- If I can make someone smile or laugh, then I feel I have been successful. I gotta have fun.

Now I will go back and work on the homework assignment of smoothing out those last two lines. :-D
...and every now & then I spend my time at rhyme & verse & curse those faults in me...- "Along Comes Mary"- The Association

"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."- Steven Wright
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Postby J. Smith » Wed Aug 06, 2008 12:57 pm

Paul, I absolutely love this poem. It reminds me of a song i once heard about writing, which had all sorts of funny references to grammar and such. Anyway, I really enjoyed it,
After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music. Aldous Huxley


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PaulG
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Postby PaulG » Wed Aug 06, 2008 10:07 pm

J. Smith- mille grazie! :)
...and every now & then I spend my time at rhyme & verse & curse those faults in me...- "Along Comes Mary"- The Association

"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."- Steven Wright
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Postby LizGrayson » Tue Aug 12, 2008 10:14 am

PG - Who says you have to play an instrument to write songs? Someone else could always compose the music and you could be the lyricist.

This is cute. Anyone who can use the word "punctilious" in a poem gets my vote.
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musthavebeenmykarma
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Postby musthavebeenmykarma » Tue Aug 12, 2008 2:27 pm

Hey, it almost works to the tune of "If I Only Had a Brain" :wink: (though you have to repeat the first three lines of the song twice, and it gets messed up in the middle <g>)
I hope I'm a punk-rocking zombie when I die-





Or at least a headbanging one.



I have a Tumblr now! Thomas Caldwell Novels



or leave a message on my blogspot: Thomas Caldwell Novels
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PaulG
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Postby PaulG » Thu Aug 14, 2008 6:59 pm

Thanks LizG. :)

I'll have to find a local melody maker. Someone "punctilious" in putting a tune together.
:wink:
...and every now & then I spend my time at rhyme & verse & curse those faults in me...- "Along Comes Mary"- The Association

"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."- Steven Wright

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