Page 10 of 14

Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 1:32 pm
by mae
Well, I don't get it after one reading, but I'll read it again. Though, in all honesty, I probably won't get it then either.

Now, the one just preceding it - would make a great entry in my contest!!!! mae

Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 2:45 pm
by TheMudge
Yeah, well, that one was a while ago. Preteniousness R Us.

Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 3:29 pm
by Daniel
I think I just found my signature lines.


I think here I found mine:



Passion is lonely business.


Still I think almost everything in life is lonely business.

A buffer bred of too many too-much-the-same excuses
Nurtured by long nights and longer afternoons


What do you mean with "buffer"?

Is it the portrait of an experienced writer? Are you referring to anyone in particular?

Oh, I like it, it seems to me an insight into a writer's approach.

Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 3:45 pm
by TheMudge
Daniel wrote:What do you mean with "buffer"?


My callousness is a buffer between me and the world.

Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 5:12 pm
by Mlou
Yeah, good thing too because underneath he's a real softie! :wink:

Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 5:21 pm
by mslover
sometimes you need callousness to simply get through life and prevent the knives slicing your heart out.

Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 6:26 pm
by JillStar
Nice, Mudge... I enjoyed the last two very much.

Mslover... errr... ouch.

Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 6:47 pm
by TheMudge
Yeah, MS ain't having a buttercup day, I'm suspecting . . .

Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 7:46 pm
by mae
Ya think?

mae

Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 10:17 am
by TheMudge
OK, this is a song, so the meter is off. And still a work in progress:

I grew up in the midwest, in a small, small town
Back then I could not wait to move away
I thought all my neighbors were just redneck know--it-alls
I'm here to tell, when I go back these days
. . .It's just like I remember it

My brother runs the dairy that my dad and granddad built
They worked themselves to death raising cows
I thought it was a damn hard way to make a living then
When I go back to help my brother now
. . .It's just like I remember it

(bridge)
I never understood the small town gossip
Or some narrow-minded preacher trying to tell me to do good
Mama wasn't in to home-grown cooking
I don't blame her; I know she did the best she could
She says if she thought she could move away, she would

I moved to Atlanta when I was seventeen
Full of piss and fire and know-it-all
Back then I thought that city was the grandest thing I'd seen
Tonight I walk through Mid-town and recall
. . . and it's just like I remember it.

Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 11:15 am
by pengwenn
It feels a little rough, but I like it and can see the potential.

(btw I've been in the mood for a new Joyful Curmudgeon for awhile now. Do you think you can do anything about that? :D )

Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 11:31 am
by Mlou
You're ringing bells here. My grandfather had a large herd of cows and when my Dad had to take over, the first thing he did was get rid of them. He HATED cows. Good start. As you're still smoothing it out, we'll wait for the finish. Soon to be heard on i-pod?

Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 11:50 am
by TheMudge
heehee . . . ya never know, mlou.

This is one where I am kinda saying everything I want to say, but the phrases aren't there yet. BUT . . . it's all over my white board, and since I needed to do some actual WORK thereon, I needed to get it written down somewhere else.

Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 5:03 pm
by TheMudge
Wish I could pull you in my arms
And wipe your pain away;
Wish I could give the smile back you gave me yesterday;
Put you on a pedestal, do what he couldn't do . . .
But if I could and if I did, I'd probably hurt you, too.

Wish I could work the hands of time
And change the way things are;
Wish I had more to offer than 3 chords on my guitar;
I'd make your heart forget his face, and show you love anew . . .
But if I could and if I did, I'd probably hurt you, too.

Wish I could lie and stroke your hair
Until you fell asleep;
And whisper gentle promises we both know I can't keep;
Then wake you in the morning with the kiss of love that's true . . .
But if I could and if I did, I'd probably hurt you, too.

Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 6:53 pm
by JillStar
Better to imagine a perfect love than to ruin it with reality?

Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 7:01 pm
by TheMudge
moonlight and roses turns into daylight and dishes

Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 8:13 pm
by mae
Mudge, I'm reading up from the bottom, so I haven't seen the things you've got at the top of the page yet, but, I LOVE THE 'WISH I..' PIECE!!!!! Especially the last line of each stanza. Oh, very well done, sir, very well done! mae

Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 8:36 pm
by xcheck24
love the latest, mudge, since it's so true.

Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 8:36 pm
by TheMudge
Thanks, Mae. Too much time on the beach, I guess . . . getting melancholy.

Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 9:03 pm
by mslover
sigh...

Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 12:40 am
by luminosity
Love that one, Mudge, though it makes me wanna :cry:

Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 1:09 pm
by Mlou
I like it very much, Mudge. You started out with a good rhythm and I'd like to see it continued in line 3 with just a slight change. Something like:
Wish I coul give you back the smile
you gave me yesterday.

Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 2:24 pm
by TheMudge
Um . . . actually . . . I think that's what it was supposed to be . . .

I was typing in a hurry.

Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 2:32 pm
by xcheck24
excuses excuses ;)
what sort of tune does it go to?

Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 2:49 pm
by TheMudge
Oh, my usual singer-songwriter mash . . . Kind of Lou Reed meets Blondie with sprinkles of Al Gore.