Page 6 of 14

Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 6:25 pm
by JillStar
Modesty is not necessarily a good thing...

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 10:17 am
by TheMudge
No, but this isn't MODESTY so much as HONESTY.

Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 2:51 pm
by TheMudge
"Your new life must be good for you," she said
Over biscuits and coffee
When we hadn't seen each other for awhile.
"You seem better."

Whether she meant "healthier",
Or just
"Better at hiding your pain,"
She didn't really specify.

Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 2:57 pm
by xcheck24
i dunno. . .it doesnt feel like a poem, mudge. not saying i dont like the theme and the sentiment. . .but just doesnt feel like a poem to me.

Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 4:02 pm
by Mlou
That's the thing about free verse. It's prose but the language and rhythm can make poetry of it. I don't think you need the quotes around healthier and better at..., though. They seem to be like stop signs to my reading eye. And please don't pick up one of my bad faults, Mudge. I use really far too often, when I REALLY don't need it. :( She didn't specify...is sharper.

Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 5:49 pm
by TheMudge
Yah. Good point.

I'm not done with it . . . just dumping. I agree with X--I like the theme . . . not the translation.

Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 6:40 pm
by xcheck24
the first stanza feels a bit more like poetry than the second because of the flow. the second is what threw me.

but i almost want to see this as prose and not a poem at all.

Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 10:19 pm
by JillStar
It seems like one of those moments in a movie where we break away from the actual story to see the main character meeting with his/her therapist to discuss what's really going on.

Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 10:39 pm
by JT
TheMudge wrote:Who once were a couple
But now stand apart
Amid all the shrapnel
And pieces of heart
Too late to interpret
Let alone make amends
You can't be a diplomat
Torn between friends


Yep, ain't that the truth. Spent five years as the go between for two of my very best friends - husband and wife and thank God for their two boys (and selfish me too), they're still together.

Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 10:45 pm
by JT
TheMudge wrote:Decades of lonely
A drive to believe
Logic and intellect
Grant no reprieve
Cursing the candle
You burned at both ends
Who gets the extinguisher?
Torn between friends


Well, not sure about this one, 'cept I like. If I'm on point at all, logic and intellect certainly have nothing to do with true love.

Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 11:00 pm
by JT
TheMudge wrote:You could've left me boldly
In the middle of a fight
In the middle of a restaurant
On a crowded Friday night
You could've left me shyly
In a letter or by phone
But you could not leave me any more alone

You could've left me humble
My head bowed down in shame
You could've left me sorry
That you ever took my name
You could've left The Hero
With some act I could condone
But you could not leave me any more alone

You could've left me public
Take an ad out in the press
Get your picture in the tabloids
Like a maiden in distress
You could've made it secret
So I never would've known
But you could not leave me any more alone

Did you leave for jealous longing?
Did you leave for wounded pride?
Could you not outrun the shadows
That have lived here since we died?
A thousand ways and reasons
But it still just means you're gone
And you could not leave me any more alone

You could not have left me any more alone.


Wow, I really like your sense of humor about such depressing things. But then so sad at the end too. And you feminists out there, curse me in my sleep, but the truth of the matter is that women are a different breed. Here you go too, Sandra Day O'Connor is my hero. And here is an adage - unless she's a witch, in the end it's better to be the dumpee, rather than the dumpor. That saying was a joint collaboration between a real man and a real woman - when they were engaged and about the mysterious nature of relations between men and women. The man dumped her and then felt guilty for not having a guilt trip.

Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 8:40 am
by TheMudge
Which again, JT, is a poem all in itself. You have a pretty good knack for spotting those oddities of the human condition that make for good poetry.

Thanks for your input.

Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 11:55 am
by JT
TheMudge wrote:The flat spot right at the small of your back

When I tried to get behind your eyes
Which somehow got you through my walls


Passion and passionate! And, oh yes, the small of the back - sometimes the most tender place. Must say I am enjoying exploring this thread very much, so thanks for the great entertainment. And those two lines up there at first glance seem so simple, but they are so complex and say so much. Yes, the eyes can be the gateways through the walls we erect around our hearts. Great read and thanks again.

Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 9:52 am
by TheMudge
The sky was bright, the world was green
Beneath the hot late April sun.
We talked of all the things we’d seen,
The things we did or left undone.
I know there’re questions we must ask—
As yet I’m not up to this task.
Forgive me while I calmly stand
And leave my head stuck in the sand:
(My way of warding off the panic.)
Ostriches, Waffles, and Celestial Mechanics.

And if the world was made for men,
It wasn’t made for guys like me.
I never have or will fit in,
And all you get is what you see.
If I could get an MBA,
Do Nordic-Trac and PTA…
But I’m cast from a different mold:
I never will do what I’m told,
And this body wasn’t made for Spandex.
Ostriches, Waffles, and Celestial Mechanics.

So in this catatonic state—
Cut loose and hanging by a strap—
The stars, or God, or twists of fate
Have dumped me straight into your lap.
Malt still does more than Milton can
To justify God’s ways to man,
So please don’t ask me how I know
I never want to let you go…
No, I’m not mad, I’m merely manic.
Ostriches, Waffles, and Celestial Mechanics.

Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:29 am
by charlesp
i like it... my usual questions apply: New/Old? intended as "poem" or "lyrics"?

Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:33 am
by xcheck24
seems more like a song to me
and it seems to have a bit of humor in it to me against what seems like a serious from the heart type thing. if that makes sense.
i do like it.

but the line "calmly stand" sticks out to me, tho, mudge. maybe it's because you don't typically use adverbs like calmly.

Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:23 am
by charlesp
Sounded like a song to me too... but have you tried just SAYING
"Ostriches, Waffles, and Celestial Mechanics"?
that's a mouthful (good line though it is)... couldn't come up with a tempo that made that easier to say (hence the question).

Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:24 am
by TheMudge
OK. Back story.

My friend Higgie the Cowgirl and I were at one of those festival things where everyone dresses up like knights and they do jousting and such, and we came across Andy Offutt Irwin (http://www.andyirwin.com/) in his guise as Offutt the Minstrel, performing old Dark Ages-sounding songs and occasionally sneaking in some of his original material.

So at one point in the show, he says he's gonna make a song out of three random words or phrases from the audience. So someone yells out "Ostriches!"

"Thank you, ma'am," says Andy.

"Waffles!" yells someone else.

"Waffles. Got it."

"Celestial Mechanics!"

A hush falls over the entire crowd. Andy raises one eyebrow and says "I am SO glad you decided to come today, sir . . ." The crowd roars.

So Andy then proceeds to strum a little and make up a story song that wanders all over the place and doesn't rhyme and only vaguely references Ostriches, Waffles, and Celestial Mechanics. Now, Andy is a great guy and a creative genius and has since become somewhat of a friend (his was the first concert I ever took Mudge Jr. to), but I gotta tell ya, I wasn't impressed with the song.

So driving home . . . Higgie asleep in the passenger seat of my little Acura . . . I started thinking over that . . .wondering if there really WAS any connection between the three things. And over the course of the drive, wrote the above lyrics.

Higgie's over in England now, on a Fellowship at Oxford as a Fellow in Residence of the C.S. Lewis house or something. But a mutual friend and I were talking, and I dug out the lyrics for her . . . and since JT's been giving me such great feedback, thought I would post them here, as well.

Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:53 am
by charlesp
I love these stories behind Mudge's poetry/songs/stories.

Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:58 am
by TheMudge
charlesp wrote:Sounded like a song to me too... but have you tried just SAYING
"Ostriches, Waffles, and Celestial Mechanics"?
that's a mouthful (good line though it is)... couldn't come up with a tempo that made that easier to say (hence the question).


For the record, I can't really play it and sing it at the same time . . . but the verses are worse than the chorus tag"

"Ostriches

Waffles and

(Slide down bottom string to E)

Celestial mechanics."

Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 12:22 pm
by Mlou
Nobody's gonna try to plagiarize THIS one! They'd never get away with it. :-D
I thought when you sneaked in the ostrich so neatly in the first verse, with the head in the sand bit, that you would work in waffles..you know, I'm different, a square waffle on a round plate, or something...in the 2nd. You did bring in the stars in the 3rd. So to meet the challenge, you have to get waffles in. :twisted:

Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 1:03 pm
by xcheck24
TheMudge wrote:My friend Higgie the Cowgirl


just her name makes her sound interesting, mudge.

and like charles, i always love the mudge backstory. haha
you lead an interesting life, my friend.

Posted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 9:54 am
by TheMudge
Mlou wrote: So to meet the challenge, you have to get waffles in. :twisted:


That was so cool that you caught that in the verses, Mlou . . . but the waffle reference IS there . . . just more subtle:

"But I’m cast from a different mold "

Posted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 9:58 am
by charlesp
And I just thought it was the "body not made for spandex" line that was the waffle reference.

Posted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 10:54 am
by Mlou
:lol: Would you call that hitting below the belt, CP?
I did see the mold reference but it's almost TOO subtle. I still kind of like the square waffle in a round plate, or vice versa.