I Had Bigfoot's Baby

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tigerlily
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Location: Lochgelly WV

I Had Bigfoot's Baby

Postby tigerlily » Wed Mar 22, 2006 10:49 am

Look closely, friends!
Raise your camcorders high;
Feast your eyes on
my hairy bundle of joy.
You sir, would you care
to hold a sasquatch child
so I can rest a minute,
and tell my tale?
(No, no, you've got it
upside down. This is the head)

Now, to begin.
We met in a bar
behind a trailer park.
Big (I like to call him Big)
had disguised himself
pretty well: he was a truck
driver, he told me,
and I could have believed it,
in spite of the hair,
but there has never been a
trucker who smelled like
that--like a terrified skunk at
the state fair where they're
judging the sheep!
Well, he smiled
at me, asked if I'd like
to take a walk outside,
and what with the stench
making my eyes water and all,
I said yes, though I half guessed
he wasn't human.

He was really thoughtful:
we strolled down by the sewage
treatment plant, hand in paw.
It was a nice evening.
The frogs were singing, and
the mosquitoes had all
dropped dead;
and as I gazed into the dark
and bottomless depths
of his broad, beastly nostrils,
I knew he was the one for me.
Shyly, I told him I liked
his mustache,
and, his eyes shining with love,
he said he liked mine too--
and in that moment,
our lips met.

When I came to myself
six months later, I discovered,
to my shock and dismay,
that I was Bigfoot and pregnant!

I know you're skeptical,
but how else do you explain
this furry thing in diapers?
So take my tale
and print it far and wide--
Besides, I need the money
to keep Big Junior in
vienna sausages
(he eats them can and all!)
and you can't squeeze
child support out of a sasquatch,
let alone creature comfort.
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
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mae
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Joined: Mon May 09, 2005 11:54 am
Location: Northwest corner of Washington state, snuggled up next to Canada

Postby mae » Thu Mar 23, 2006 2:07 am

ROFL!!!I love it! Oh man, this is a quite a tale! My style, all the way. Tiger, you've outdone yourself. *shaking my head and laughing as I walk away* mae
My heart beats in poetry. I think in rhythm and dream in rhyme.

Give me a crit! I can take it!

CELTIC QUEEN, an Epic Poem, Cynthia M. Bateman, amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore ... +Epic+Poem at Tate Publishing
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Mlou
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Joined: Wed Feb 18, 2004 10:24 pm
Location: Vermont

Postby Mlou » Thu Mar 23, 2006 8:56 am

Now this is a one-of-a-kind! :-D The poem AND the baby.
nothing is ever simply Yes or No. There's always a But...


GINGERBREAD MAN by Mary Lou Healy at Amazon.com http://www.publishamerica.com/shopping/ ... ogid=16658 at Publish America
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mae
Wordtrip Grand Master
Posts: 2492
Joined: Mon May 09, 2005 11:54 am
Location: Northwest corner of Washington state, snuggled up next to Canada

Postby mae » Sun Mar 26, 2006 12:05 am

Tiger, I've gotta tell ya, I saw a commercial today for "Bigfoot Slug Bait" (really!) and it made me think of your poem, so I told my husband about it (the poem, not the slug bait). Not many poems stay with me a day later!

mae
My heart beats in poetry. I think in rhythm and dream in rhyme.



Give me a crit! I can take it!



CELTIC QUEEN, an Epic Poem, Cynthia M. Bateman, amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore ... +Epic+Poem at Tate Publishing
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bard_of_life
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2005 8:34 am
Location: under a tree doing what I do best.

Postby bard_of_life » Sun Mar 26, 2006 5:09 pm

... hahahahahaahahahahahahahahaha... lmao... that's great. I've never really enjoyed this kind of poem usually, but you pulled it off so I liked it. Great job!
Life is a parchment that no matter how many times you blot ink on it, you can't bring yourself to crumple it.
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tigerlily
Wordtripper Extraordinaire
Posts: 440
Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 11:00 am
Location: Lochgelly WV

Postby tigerlily » Fri Mar 31, 2006 2:36 pm

Wow, thanks...I'm so glad you liked it. You know, sometimes I write something, and I think it's hysterical, and then nobody else gets it. I was having some pretty serious doubts about this one. What a relief!

No more paranormal poetry for a while, though: I'm taking a break. Going to focus more on "normal" writing and Wordtrip challenges. :-P
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

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