ready for publication?

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ready for publication?

Postby xcheck24 » Sat Feb 14, 2004 5:14 pm

I need some feedback on this one because I think it's ready for publication, but I could use some more thoughts...also, ive never gotten any poetry published...anyone have any advice?

The Boyfriend

I once had a shiny, new ring.
It glimmered in the sun like no other,
And everyone said how beautiful it was.
“It makes your whole being glow.”

But soon the ring stopped glimmering so brightly.
It left a black mark on my finger.
So I rubbed it clean,
But it didn’t twinkle quite as bright.
Dirt kept gathering on the ring
And no matter how much I rubbed
It never seemed to come clean.
People wondered why I kept the ring.
“Why do you keep wearing that unsightly thing?”
I never quite knew why,
But I kept trying to make it glitter again.

Suddenly the ring slid from my finger
And disappeared forever.
I searched frantically at first,
But soon I realized it wasn’t worth my time.
I walked on looking for a new ring,
One that didn’t turn my finger black.

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