Tigerlily Tales

A place for you writers to complain about your writing and the writing process... maybe posting what you got done today to make you feel like less of a writing failure.

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tigerlily
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Postby tigerlily » Tue Jun 27, 2006 11:48 am

Hmmm...Well, but what if one of my ideas becomes the Great American Novel, and makes millions of dollars and becomes famous, and an attractive young actor wants to meet the author to better understand their character's motivation, falls hopelessly in love with her, they get married and live happily ever after...while I'm stuck under a rock in West Virginia, because I sold my idea?!

:roll:

Maybe I could just sell the crappy ones. Want to buy an idea? :-P
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Postby tigerlily » Sat Jul 01, 2006 12:30 pm

I have found a fascinating website! www.willigocrazy.org

It's a journal of writing from the perspective of the mentally ill. It's amazing stuff: a lot of my minor physical problems could be related to my depression. I did not realize this, and it's kind of nice to know.

I wonder if they will accept me as a fellow sufferer of depression (among other things), seeing as I've never been officially diagnosed? I aim to find out!

Oh, be excited for me! I've never tried to just submit something to a publication; it's always been a contest entry, so this is a big deal for me. Wish me luck!
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

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Postby pengwenn » Wed Jul 05, 2006 12:02 am

Good luck tigerlily!
Is this my reality or yours?
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Postby tigerlily » Sat Jul 15, 2006 10:37 am

Hmmm. I've been reading the guidelines. They kept referring to "consumers" instead of readers. What is a consumer? I wondered. A "consumer" is a person with minor or major mental problems that "consumes" mental health care stuff, like therapy or medication. I took Buspar in high school, and stopped because it wasn't helping me, and I resented the notion of taking a pill to be normal. And I have never been to any form of counseling. I have always been resistant to the idea of someone else analyzing me and telling me what my problem is...
In high school, I was having some digestion problems, and Mom took me to the local clinic. They ran some tests, and apparently couldn't find anything wrong. I sat down in a little examining room with a friendly Medical aide, not a doctor, but an aide, and she asked me lots of questions. Did I have trouble making decisions? How did I go about making decisons? Why was I only wearing nail polish on one hand? She talked to me for about half and hour, came out and told my mother, with me standing right there, "She's a classic type A personality, borderline obsessive-compulsive neurotic," and she prescribed Buspar for anxiety.
I resented this. She was medically trained, not trained in psychiatry, she wasn't even a doctor, and she talks to me for less than an hour, and "diagnoses" me. Yeah, well, it's even more irritating to know that she's right, aside for the manic depression and audio and visual hallucinations! I didn't take the Buspar for long. I hate pills. I find them very difficult to swallow, because I keep thinking, "There's a pill in my mouth, and I've got to swallow it right now, and I hope it doesn't get hung in my throat, or I'll have to cough it back up." This, twice every day, for a couple weeks. After a while, I threw a huge tantrum, with tears and screaming, the works, and I said I'm not taking them, they're not doing anything anyway.
(Later in college, I told Trench about this, and he said, "Oh yeah. Buspar. I've taken that. Sure it works; you just have to keep increasing the dosage." Trench being a walking pharmaceutical guide-the less said about that the better)
Plus I dated a psych major in college. He found me fascinating, but I was more of an experiment to him than a girlfriend. He used to try to scare me, then he'd apologize and promise not to do it again, and then as soon I calmed down, he'd scare me again. He would be really sweet and thoughtful and caring when we were alone, and then he would be rude and cold and insulting. I saw that glint of calculating interest in his eyes. He probably had a notebook somewhere for recording his observations. Plus, he wouldn't keep his hands to himself, and eventually dumped me over this issue. I know it's terribly unfair of me to think all psychiatrists are like him, but it's not like I'm a reasonable person.
The hallucinations got better after I left college, though I do still have them occasionally, but the depression and anxiety got worse. I was beginning to think that I might have to see a therapist, or ask my parents to admit me to a mental hospital. And then I saw A Beautiful Mind. It was a revelation. If you're smart enough, and you know what's wrong, you can live with it. It's like being lucid in a dream...if you recognize that you're the only one seeing or hearing whatever, you can ignore it, and it will go away.
I have a feeling Any Dream Will Do is not the right fit for me though, since I don't go for treatment. They might even regard me as a mental health snob.


Or maybe the idea of submitting to a magazine terrifies me.
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Postby tigerlily » Sat Jul 15, 2006 10:41 am

Hurray! Second Place! though, I have to say, I really thought Prehistoric Verses would win. Awesome, witty piece!
\:D/ :yimcrazy: \:D/ \:D/ \:D/ \:D/ \:D/ \:D/ \:D/ \:D/ \:D/ :yimcrazy: \:D/
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Postby Mlou » Sat Jul 15, 2006 11:03 am

Congrats, tigerlily. :)
I was reading your posting about multiple ideas. Put them all together somewhere and then just CHOOSE ONE. Concentrate on it; see it through to completion and you'll have the most wonderful sense of accomplishment. (AND something to submit!) If you just scattershot all over the place, you'll be stalled forever and get discouraged.
nothing is ever simply Yes or No. There's always a But...


GINGERBREAD MAN by Mary Lou Healy at Amazon.com http://www.publishamerica.com/shopping/ ... ogid=16658 at Publish America
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Postby tigerlily » Fri Jul 21, 2006 9:17 am

Thanks. I think that's what I'll do. I've made lists of all the titles of potential projects, and gradually I'm weeding out the ones that aren't really stories, just titles. And I'm planning a writing schedule. Also, I've started a new journal format. So far, I really like it. :)
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

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Postby tigerlily » Fri Jul 21, 2006 9:35 am

7/19/2006 WorkDay Statistics

Hotties sighted: 1
People who contributed to the Literacy Fund: 30
People who said no: 7
Times I had to ring up Foghorn: 1
Whistlers: 1
People I know from Church: 1
Tourists: California, Florida, New Jersey
Yes, it is hot.
No we do not carry apple butter, commode lids, pirate hats, or old-fashioned popcorn.
Joke of the day: "Why do they call it rafting season, if I'm not allowed to shoot 'em?"--anonymous unwashed customer
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--Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Postby tigerlily » Fri Jul 21, 2006 9:51 am

This particular hottie was interested in purchasing a patriotic t-shirt with '76 on it. He was disappointed to learn it was the only one left, and it was a small. He said, "That's the year I was born." I just assumed he meant 1976, and wondered if he was trying to tell me his age out of some ulterior dating-type motive. It seems to me I've seen him several times before, but alwasys with a girlfriend...and this time he was alone.
But then I remembered another place I might have seen him, so I just smiled sheepishly, collected a dime for literacy, and wished him a nice day.

what if he really was born in 1776?

The other place I could possibly know him from is one of the Overlook Trails near the Gorge.
Sunday before last, my Dad took my Mom and myself to the Canyon Rim Gift Shop, and then we drove up a steep country road to Lansing. I had no clue where we were going. Then we came to a wooded area with a gravel lot and a port-a-potty. He parked. We got out.
Between two wooden posts lay a gravel path. aha, I said to myself, a trail, and I took off.
I was still within sight and sound of the parking lot when I went into sensory overload.
"The woods" is always trees, but some trees are more special than others. Some places are more special than others. This place...I can't express the feeling it gave me. I mean, "mist, utter stillness, green, trees with textured bark, trees with moss, trees with character, possible ents, beautiful fallen logs, new and interesting fungi, varieties I'd never seen before," doesn't begin to cover it. I couldn't stop smiling. My only regrets were that I didn't have a water bottle or a camera with me.
I was a ways ahead of my parents when I heard the noise, and stopped dead. I knew it was something I didn't like, but I couldn't quite remember what--and then I knew. Dogs! Dogs panting and running up the trail towards me!

(Note to self: I should probably write about my dog phobia)

There were two guys and three dogs. The ordinary guy had a little golden-brown puppy, but the hottie had two black and tan dogs, one of which I think was a German Shepherd. The other looked to be part bear.
The part-bear dog came right to me, and whined to be petted. I reluctantly petted its head, and it slobbered on my pants leg. The hottie kept calling it, telling it to leave me alone, and it finally moved away with the group.
I let them get a long way ahead before I started walking again.
But of course they were still at the overlook when I arrived with my parents. This time, both big dogs came right up to me, demanding attention. The hottie could see this bothered me.
"They won't hurt you. They're really friendly."
"I know," I said, suddenly feeling very sad.
He called them away, and after a minute, they moved off down the trail.
I didn't see them again.

But this could have been the same guy, and even if it wasn't, he probably owns a dog, too.

I need a hottie who is not a dog-owner, present or future.
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Postby tigerlily » Fri Jul 21, 2006 9:55 am

7/20/2006 WorkDay Statistics

Hotties sighted: 0
People who contributed to the Literacy Fund: 29
People who said no: 6
People who said yes, then gave exact change: 2
Foreign languages heard: Chinese and Spanish
Times I had to ring up Foghorn: 1
Whistlers: 1
People I know from Church: 1
Monstomers: The Aggravator, and the Clicker
Characters: Tommy Smothers and Anthony Quinn
Yes, it is hot.
No, we do not carry doilies or Dramamine.
No, we do not take Visa.
No, we do not break bills.
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Postby tigerlily » Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:09 am

I actually like collecting for the Literacy Fund, but I didn't always.
It didn't help that Baba Yaga kept saying things like, "I don't care if you have to walk around outside in a bikini to get people to give, you do what you have to," and, "We're supposed to be bringing in at least fifteen dollars every week."
Just what kind of racket is this? I began to wonder.
But then I decided, If I have to do it, I'm going to do it right.
And pretty soon, I became the most successful "fund getter" in my store district. the big Boss calls me Queen of the Literacy Fund. Here is my method:

1. Convince yourself it's for a good cause, and all the money's going where the brochure says. If you don't believe it, neither will the customers.

2. Get a small notepad where you can estimate how much you're bringing in. I use dittoes, one for each dime, and I stop when I reach my estimated fifteen. I also keep track of No's and dumb excuses. Once people realize "You ought to be paying me, haw haw" is not bright and original, that in fact you have already heard it five times that evening, they feel sheepish and either say "No thank you" (which is much less annoying), or they may actually cough up some change.

3. Ask everyone. Sometimes, the meanest, nastiest looking people are shockingly generous.

4. Have a set phrase you can repeat easily. Mine is, "Would you like to give a dime to the Monstrous Convenience Literacy Fund?" If you hesitate or stutter, they won't give you a penny.

5. Be prepared. If a customer asks, "What is the Fund for? does it stay local? I would like to help: how do I get involved?" You should know the answers. If a customer says," I can't read" or "You ought to be paying me, haw haw" give them a brochure.

6. Display your teeth. People like this, don't ask me why.

7. When someone hands you the change, immediately place it in the box. This way, they know that you, at least, are honest.

8. When someone gives, say thank you, and really mean it. When someone says No, say okay, and mean that too.

9. When someone gives more than you've asked for, make a big deal out of it. Be astounded that someone is giving a whole dollar, as if it's never happened before. Praise and thank that customer as if it was a fifty. (They love this)

10. Wear cologne on the top of your head, so when you get embarrassingly close to the customer as you drop their change in the box, they get to briefly enjoy how good you smell. subtle positive reinforcement, but I think it works.
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Postby charlesp » Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:21 am

Interesting tips tiger... where do you work (meaning what is Monsterous Convenience?) that you have a literacy fund donation thing?

If they can't read, how much good is that brochure going to do them? :D

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Postby tigerlily » Tue Jul 25, 2006 12:25 pm

I work for a small bargain discount store, which I refer to as Monstrous Convenience because I'm not supposed to badmouth the Big Company, especially on the Internet, and also because quite a few of my customers are monsters. Someday I plan to write a book about a human cashier's experiences in a private community of actual monsters.
I don't know. Is Big Brother actually watching us in Wordtrip? Is my Big Company searching for mentions of its name, so they can fire disgruntled store clerks? Maybe I'm paranoid.
In any case...I work for Dollar General. There. I said it.
and I don't have anything against Dolgencorp (Sieg Hail!)* particularly...Just my boss Baba Yaga, and about forty of my regular customers.


*I know it's an abbreviation for Dollar General Corporation that they put on all my paystubs, but I always pronounce it Dole-gun-corp, and think of Nazis. :wink:
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

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Postby tigerlily » Tue Jul 25, 2006 12:30 pm

charlesp wrote:If they can't read, how much good is that brochure going to do them? :D


Most of the customers who say they can't read, and I ought to be paying them, are just making excuses. When I offer them the brochure, they feel silly, and end up making a donation. There are some people who really can't read and express a desire to learn. These people usually take the brochure on their way out, and I guess they have a family member or a friend read it to them later. At least, I like to think so.
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Postby tigerlily » Thu Aug 03, 2006 10:34 am

My coworker, Foghorn, has been in a terrible car accident. She had to be airlifted to Charleston, where they put her on a ventilator and had a surgeon put her skull back together. This happened on Friday. Saturday afternoon she woke up enough to freak out about the ventilator and pull it out. Monday she took some broth, and then went in for more surgery on her head. Tuesday, she answered the phone herself and said she hurt real bad. All of her thick blond hair has been shaved off and her head is covered in stitches. She said she feels like Frankenstein. The doctors told her she should be dead. She has no insurance, so she's going home today. What a crappy deal. Being poor sucks. I wonder how long it will be before Baba Yaga starts trying to get her to come back to work? Probably a week. I hate my job. I feel guilty because Foghorn has always gotten on my nerves, but I never wished anything like this to happen. Plus I'm really tired from all the extra work. It may be a while before I do any more Workday Statistics.

I do hope everything is back to normal by September, because I'm planning a NaNoWriMo for September. Here's trying to keep hopeful.
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Postby Hyker » Thu Aug 03, 2006 1:03 pm

I hate when tragedies happen to people around us to remind us how good we really have it.

I went to bed the other day with my wife, we've both been plagued with family issues that have been stressing us out to the point of exhaustion. As we lay there in the silence, a thought occurred to me. I felt it needed to be spoken out loud...

"There was a girl who got drunk yesterday and climbed over the fenced in pool at her apartment at 2 in the morning. She dove into the 3 foot end and hit her head on the bottom. She's paralyzed now from the neck down."

I lay there and wondered how hard her life had just become, how many issues she now had thrown in her lap as she lay in her hospital bed. Makes you think.
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Postby pengwenn » Thu Aug 03, 2006 1:12 pm

Although I can't control everything, I try to avoid doing stupid stuff 'cause I don't want to live like that. Sometimes I have a hard enough time with the problems I've got, but it does make me appreciate the life I've got.
Is this my reality or yours?
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Postby tigerlily » Sat Aug 05, 2006 11:35 am

Foghorn update: She may have thought they shaved all of her hair, but they didn't. She appeared at the store yesterday...I say appeared, because she looked like the sort of apparition I used to see at college. Her hair was messy, like she just got out of bed, but I think she styled it that way to hide her shaved places. She's...Well...I beeped Baba Yaga to come to the register. And when she got there and saw I wasn't waiting on anybody, she looked at me curiously, trying to figure out what I wanted. Then Foghorn turned to look at her. It took a second for Baba Yaga to figure out who she was looking at. She gave her a cautious hug, and told her she should be home in bed. She didn't stay long, but neither of us felt too good after that. Baba Yaga kept telling people, "Have you seen her? She was just here. She looks like a dead person." I told Mom about it, and she reminded me that while she may look like a victim from an American Werewolf movie, she is a miracle, and she is going to get better. I can hardly wait for her to come back and start being a pain in the butt again...Especially since Baba Yaga is deeply affected. I'm used to my noisy, unfeeling slavedriver of a boss, but when some disaster happens that touches her, she becomes really sweet and caring, and it feels...unnatural. Well, that's all I want to say about it. I have two days in a row off, and I want to think about happier things and relax.
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Postby tigerlily » Fri Aug 25, 2006 9:56 am

Sorry it's been so long since I checked in, the library fiber optic network got struck by lightning two weeks ago, and it's taken them all this time to get the net up and running again. Good news: I'm leaving Dollar General for the DHHR! (I'm mostly terrified, but everybody keeps telling me it's good news.)
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Postby tigerlily » Fri Aug 25, 2006 10:40 am

Coming attractions:

Ancient Blue--but first, I have to do some research on Atlantis.

a memoir of my friendship with Freyrson.

Aluminum Foil: A National Treasure. (guess what that's about)

Next Door to a Perfect Heathen-a memoir of my unhealthy obsession with Trench.

Skin Condition-a fictional rockumentary.

A series of watercolors of my favorite stars.

Stockholm-the story of a crazed fan who kidnaps her favorite star, in the hopes that he'll fall for her.

(Anyone making use of this list to write their own bestseller will be hunted down and beaten...with an egg beater...But of course, I can trust you guys, right?) :wink:
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Postby Mlou » Sat Aug 26, 2006 10:36 am

Skin Condition? You must have seen Diddy Coombs commercial...coco butter skin (or something like that)
Aluminum Foil...Saved up a humungous giant ball of foil have you?
And the good thing about Atlantis is that NOBODY has the skinny on it, so you can make it anything you want. :)
AND why aren't you hitting the poetic boards and challenges????
nothing is ever simply Yes or No. There's always a But...





GINGERBREAD MAN by Mary Lou Healy at Amazon.com http://www.publishamerica.com/shopping/ ... ogid=16658 at Publish America
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Postby tigerlily » Thu Aug 31, 2006 9:19 am

I don't know! Here lately, I say to myself, "I'm going to sit down and write a poem (or a story or a journal entry)," but instead, all I can think about is my new job. Will I love it? Will I hate it? Will my parents stop treating me like a student driver and allow me to go to work by myself?
Maybe in a week or two when I'm settled in, I'll relax enough to be creative.
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Postby tigerlily » Sat Sep 16, 2006 10:15 am

Okay. I have been writing. Here is what I wrote. What is it?

Dream Ethics/Dream Physics

Are dreams real?
Are dream people real?
About bodily functions
Can dream people be injured?
Can dream people be killed?
About death
About giving birth
Is it all right to have sex with dream people?
About illness, diagnosis, and healing
About superstrength
About travel to and from dreams
About visiting real-world places in dreams

About creativity in dreams
Is it all right to misbehave when you're lucid?
Is it all right to deceive dream people?
About lucidity
Should you always follow dream people's directions?
About special wisdom

About dead people
About meeting real people in dreams

About eating non-food
Is it all right to be uncooperative in a dream scenario?
Is it all right to escape from unpleasant dreams?
Who is in charge?

About flying

About time
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Postby tigerlily » Sat Sep 16, 2006 10:17 am

Ia. Are dreams real?

There is a separate world, an alternate dimension, governed by the private thoughts and emotions of all who live there, and those of all who visit. It is a beautiful, hideous, confusing, disturbing, fascinating place. It is Dream.
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Postby tigerlily » Sat Sep 16, 2006 10:25 am

Ib. Are dream people real?

Then when a dreamer falls asleep, their soul/mind/vital essence journeys, bodiless and invisible, to that place where dreams are; from there the dreamer, all unknowing, takes on a body as like their own as can be found, in which to explore and experience this world; if none is like their own, then a human body, at least; if none human can be found, then that form of some animal or plant; if none even remotely familiar to the soul/mind/vital essence, the dreamer comes to consciousness and flits about, invisible but aware, unable to do anything but observe. But these dream bodies have lives and personalities separate from the dreamer's; thus it is that a dreamer for a time believes himself to be someone else, the other's traits and memories are blending with his own. Some would call this a form of possession; I disagree. Those unfortunates who are possessed find that it is a state that is forced upon them, and an intrusion on their very bodies. While I do not pretend to understand the Dream People, I do believe them to be wise and aware, with a calm acceptance of everything occurring (tell anyone you meet in a dream that you are dreaming; no one will show the slightest surprise, as they know it much better than you), and I think this includes the visitors among them, both the dreamers and the lucid.
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

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