Jill's Busy Boredom

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Jill's Busy Boredom

Postby JillStar » Mon Feb 18, 2013 11:18 pm

How can someone so bored with life be so damn busy...

or...

how can someone so busy in life be so damn bored?

For how tired I am all the time you would think I was accomplishing something enormous and impressive. Instead I do very much of so little and I'm exhausted from doing nothing.
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Postby charlesp » Tue Feb 19, 2013 8:45 pm

Sadly, I expect it's not all that uncommon to find oneself exhausted by the mundane and boring, and subsequently not finding the energy to do the exciting and rejuvenating creative work that might help alleviate the mental boredom. Vicious cycle.

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Postby Anblick » Wed Feb 20, 2013 9:25 am

It hits me quite often. If I don't write early in the day, I don't write at all that day.
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Postby JillStar » Sun Feb 24, 2013 11:56 pm

Yes, I don't believe I am exactly unique in my mental state of nothingness. I feel "ehh" quite often. That being said, we're working on a new business venture that I feel, in our area here, will be quite successful. Now if we can just get the business plan done and gain the guts to go for it. Yes... even more writing and in some ways I would call it creative writing. :shock:

As to personal writing, it will happen when it happens. I know... not the best thought process but it is what it is (and I hate that saying, by the way... it is what it is? Really... no kidding). If I force myself to write, I hate what I have written... if I let myself write when the feeling comes, I usually love the outcome.

I write more poetry now... probably because I can't seem to keep my own attention. :?
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Postby Anblick » Tue Feb 26, 2013 11:04 am

I'm the same way, when I force myself to write, I hate the results. I did, a few months back, write a new short story that I like (and posted in the LArge Writing Group as "Mary's Painting"), which has inspired me to actually think about putting together a short story compilation to publish. Probably first through Amazon, then if it does ok, on other sites...
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Postby JillStar » Fri Aug 30, 2013 9:46 pm

It seems that I am a roller coaster write. I just looked back at the last poem I wrote from a prompt (or posted on my blog) and it was in August 2012. :shock:

I was writing a ton in 2010... and off and on since then until a year ago when it completely stopped.

And for dumb reasons. I have an epic poem I was working on that should be done right now... loved writing it... love writing poems... dark and mysterious.

So what is it about me that causes me to lose interest so damn easily :?:
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Postby pengwenn » Fri Sep 13, 2013 6:18 pm

I've noticed in my life certain times of the year I'm more prone to write things (or want to write things) than other times. Also certain days of the week or more likely to get me into the mood to write. Wednesdays and Thursdays for example. I found an old journal the other day and looking through some of the entries they were mostly dated on Wednes or Thurs. I wonder why that is.
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Postby JillStar » Tue Sep 17, 2013 8:31 pm

Odd... Wednesday and Thursday? Interesting.

I don't seem to write when I'm in an extreme mood... one way or the other. So if I'm extremely sad or extremely happy... no writing for me.
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Postby JillStar » Fri Oct 17, 2014 7:50 pm

I'm trying hard... again... to get myself lined up with my writing. Even those around me are saying "you should write... you're happier when you write". I always thought so but apparently it's now a visible-to-everyone-else kind of thing. So I created myself a new website... because back when I was writing I had one and I linked it to things I enjoy that help me write (world building, etc). I have several blogs that I've abandoned over the years. I won't delete them because it shows my writing or things that happened in my life. But there are at least two that are going by way of 'garbage land'.

I hoped to get wt back up and running... it's still a possibility but until them I'm just going to do my own thing. Part of what makes my writing successful is being able to bounce ideas off others. To me, a forum (like wt) is one of the best ways to get critiques and honest thoughts on my writing. So many websites just have members who say 'gosh, this is great' or 'come see my stuff'. I loved the way wt members were honest without being jackasses.

When trying to use facebook for crits... well, it's not the same. I suppose it's because it's more of a social type thing... and personal. I don't necessarily want my family to read my writing... at least not all of it or before it's finished.

Blogs? Well, blogs are great but if you want people to read them and respond you must first find them which means you spend hours and hours searching other blogs and then commenting and hoping they will come and give a damn about working with you or any kind of contact that is actually beneficial.

When you have a successful forum then people come to it... there's no searching for person after person in hopes of making a connection. They come to you. There is still hope for wt if we can clean it up and get rid of the redundancy and the forums/threads that are no longer used or were for a much larger audience. As I work to get this accomplished, I hope former members will come back and help make it great again. Currently, no new members are joining that are real people. In other words, the hundreds that do join every day are just bots.

Until then... I hope to connect with many of you on fb (if you're on it) or via your blogs (if you're actively using them). My new pen name out in internet land is Phenix Jira (JiRa). No, my name is has not officially changed... it's still Jill... but the name JillStar is now used by so many people doing so many things that it's hard to keep an actual pen name with it.

What's funny is that when I owned Jillstar.com I was really one of the first to use that name. I have an email with jillstar and have for years... but now if you try to get an email using jillstar... it's hard to find. When I looked at jillstar.com now... it's not a site but it's for sale now for $800.00. Can you believe it! I mean really? Apparently it's due to how many people use that name on the internet.

Anyway... long story short... I am a writer who struggles with writer's block, writer's indifference, and writer's 'wanna-be-a-writer' syndrome. Thank you for listening!
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Postby pengwenn » Fri Nov 14, 2014 5:20 pm

I agree with your lost sentence completely. And what I like most about WT and why I would rather show my writing (if I ever do any) here than elsewhere (incl family) is that this placed is filled with like-minded people. FB is a hodgepodge of people and most of them just don't get what it means to struggle and pull a story out of your head and put it in words that are understandable. There's a lot of stuff I pull out of my head that is NOT understandable.

I suffer from mental exhaustion. When I finally have that moment to write something I'm so mentally tired that I sometimes can't remember my name. I made a comment to my mother the other day that I don't feel creative anymore because I don't have the energy for it. It made me sad.

I come back to WT all the time, hoping for a spark or something. At least I'm still trying.
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Postby timberline » Sun Nov 16, 2014 3:50 pm

You're right, Peng, that this is home, a quiet corner to bounce things around. I had a thought after reading "Songs of Willow Frost," so I Facebooked a message to Jamie Ford. he came right back with an answer. WT was--is--that kind of place.

As for writer's block, Jill, I can't relate to it. I can't pick up a book or newspaper without free-associating ideas. Therein lies another story. Also, Duotrope.com's markets give me ideas, like a magazine called Vine Leaves (http://www.vineleavesliteraryjournal.com/). And--oh, my!--I have two new vignettes to go over there (one just posted to FFF). Your FFFs are high octane to my idling engine of creativity.
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Postby JillStar » Tue Dec 02, 2014 11:05 pm

I thought I set this to let me know when someone replies but apparently I didn't do it well.

I'm not sure Pen... are we friends on FB? I brought up that I wanted to bring WT back to life and asked Charles if I could get permissions to clean things up. So far, nothing has happened so I'm guessing it's not going to work out.

At one point I thought about creating my own board/forum but I just haven't found enough people to be interested the way WT was 'back in the day'. If I knew enough people would fill up the room of a board like WT, I would look into it more.

The problem with WT is that it's programing is very out of date and there are a lot of bugs. I don't know if you've noticed the number of members but at the moment we have about 34,000. Thing is... when I started the conversation with Charles, we had way over 100k. Bots have taken over WT and until the program is updated and the security updated as well... nothing will work quite as it should.

Basically, I wanted to clean up what isn't used and leave a nice foundation of what we all like the most. But again... until those updates are done and I've been given more permissions... we're kind of stuck in limbo.

Anyway... I like posting to a board because people treat it more seriously than FB or going from blog to blog. This is the type of environment for me that keeps me writing.

Timber... it's not that I can't find something to write about... it's that I'm overwhelmed with too many other things I need to do which means I'm either exhausted by the time I get home so don't write... or I'm overwhelmed with so many things that I just do nothing.

Also... I know some people can write in any environment. That's true of me in some instances... for some types of writing. More often than not however, I have a hard time writing when there are lots of people in the house or if they are watching TV or have music up loud... or they themselves are talking loudly. But I also have a hard time telling them to leave or be quiet.

What I think I need is an office... some place where I can go and shut the door, turn on my own music, etc. Some day soon!!
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