FireFlare77's Blog -- A New Musing

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Fireflare77
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Postby Fireflare77 » Fri Nov 06, 2009 9:01 pm

I'm really sad that the last two people I've thought I could trust have gone on to betray my trust in two different ways... Can't trust smart people or dumb people... Sad.
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I often sit here, in this chair, writing, oblivious to the passing of time.

It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.
<--Maroon5
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Postby *Elle* » Sat Nov 07, 2009 11:50 am

Im sorry Spencer.
Feel better:)
R.I.P. Mikey, Brandy and Chris
Dream as if you have forever. Live as if you only have today.--James Dean
A life without cause is a life without effect--Barbella
If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be.
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Fireflare77
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Postby Fireflare77 » Mon Nov 09, 2009 12:18 am

I found a new forum. If I hadn't had all the wtj drama, I never would have found it. I'm fitting right in. It's *almost* TOO perfect. (thanks, agnostic version of god)
FireFlare77



I often sit here, in this chair, writing, oblivious to the passing of time.



It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

<--Maroon5
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Postby *Elle* » Mon Nov 09, 2009 3:39 pm

Fireflare77, What is it?
R.I.P. Mikey, Brandy and Chris

Dream as if you have forever. Live as if you only have today.--James Dean

A life without cause is a life without effect--Barbella

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be.
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Postby Fireflare77 » Sat Nov 21, 2009 7:25 pm

Oh... Um... :oops: (feels embarrassed) Could I, uh, not, tell, you?
FireFlare77



I often sit here, in this chair, writing, oblivious to the passing of time.



It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

<--Maroon5
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Fireflare77
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Postby Fireflare77 » Sat Nov 21, 2009 7:30 pm

NOV 21, 2009

Dear Blog,

Oh my god. Another frustrating week. So my mom took a new stance on her bipolarity and pmsing. She called the cops on me. Want to know why? I'm avoiding her from the moment I get home, trying to be productive. She says something that attacks my character and I tell her to shut up. She walkes briskly over to me and stands, trying to be really intimidating, over me with her hot cup of tea that's, like, steaming and says "what?". Then I, because I'm eating a salad at the time, pick up a fork and step to the other side of the table and I'm all like, "hey, cool it! Put the tea down". And she spills some tea that would have hit me if I didn't move. Then she's like "put that down, NOW!" and I'm like, "no, calm down first and put down the tea". She calls the cops and tells them I'm threatening her with a fork.

(sigh)

Then she cancles the call (probabaly because she realizes that they'll she she's an abusive parent), and instead grounds me untill christmas. The worst part? My dad does absolutely nothing about this...

(sigh)

Dysfunctional much?

Spencer
FireFlare77



I often sit here, in this chair, writing, oblivious to the passing of time.



It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

<--Maroon5
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Postby *Elle* » Mon Nov 23, 2009 3:50 pm

Ha ha..
Cops...
Same situation here..
Except with my dad
R.I.P. Mikey, Brandy and Chris

Dream as if you have forever. Live as if you only have today.--James Dean

A life without cause is a life without effect--Barbella

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be.
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Postby TheMudge » Mon Nov 23, 2009 5:44 pm

Gee, I can't WAIT until I have a teenager ... oh, wait, I do ...
"Throughout history, Truth and Love have always won." - M. Ghandi

"Truth and Love often get the crap kicked out of them along the way." -D. Mudge

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Postby *Elle* » Tue Nov 24, 2009 2:07 pm

TheMudge, Its fun..Really!! Some are bad others like me are shy and quiet..
R.I.P. Mikey, Brandy and Chris

Dream as if you have forever. Live as if you only have today.--James Dean

A life without cause is a life without effect--Barbella

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be.
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Postby Fireflare77 » Thu Nov 26, 2009 3:12 pm

NOV 26

Dear Blog,

Smaller crisis this go-around. someone un-tivo'ed all my episodes of House! OMG!!! *rips hair out with a primal scream* Sorry... I promised a small crisis. I've started on my novel for NaNoWriMo. It's coming along nicely. I've got over 5,000 words now. (hey, I haven't had a lot of time to write, only three sessions, which puts me right on track for day three!)

I'm also composing a song which I intend to dedicate to a rather special someone... who doesn't know how I feel...

No more upddates for now.

Hope to have some (wait... I hope to have some GOOD updates, yeah. :) ) updates soon,

Spencer, Fireflare77
FireFlare77



I often sit here, in this chair, writing, oblivious to the passing of time.



It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

<--Maroon5
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Postby *Elle* » Mon Nov 30, 2009 3:13 pm

Fireflare77, Post the song...
I always look for tips on writing them..I suck at them.
R.I.P. Mikey, Brandy and Chris

Dream as if you have forever. Live as if you only have today.--James Dean

A life without cause is a life without effect--Barbella

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be.
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Postby Fireflare77 » Sun Dec 06, 2009 3:08 pm

Oh. It's more of a symphony. I can't really post it. I wrote it with a funky font with text boxes and stuff in word.
FireFlare77



I often sit here, in this chair, writing, oblivious to the passing of time.



It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

<--Maroon5
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Postby Fireflare77 » Mon Dec 21, 2009 8:05 am

Monday, 12/21/09

Blog,

Sadly, the semester of my theater group, Metropolitan Proforming Arts Academy has come to an end. I'm still working on my mom to let me do the next one. Gosh, I only wish. Also in my life, tomorrow. I've had my fingers crossed for tomorrow since *oh. Wait. That's today!* forever! Genny's party, everyone will be there. If my mom doesn't let me go, I would so ask them to kidnap me.

Spencer
FireFlare77



I often sit here, in this chair, writing, oblivious to the passing of time.



It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

<--Maroon5
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Postby Fireflare77 » Sat Jan 02, 2010 4:53 pm

1/2/2010

Dear Blog,

A thought that I've been having in my head for a while now. I usually wind up with a whole bunch of souvenirs. From everything. 8th grade farewell I got a lay... Wait, better re-phrase. One of those "Hawaiian" things. Last night's new year's party at the Hatton's (that's a lot of ''s) I got two of those pointy party hats... Why two? I was wearing them like horns :D When I volunteered to do an extra MPAA show for Oregon City? One of the uniform T shirts, plain red. When I dressed up in a newspaper dress for the comedic value of my non-peers? A small, newspaper bracelet.

Case-in-point? I keep all of these things, rather ceremoniously, in this (also godawesome) Egyptian chest thing that I picked up on the cheap from a going-out-of-business sale at a furniture store. I think that it's a really cool idea for storing memorabilia as it happens.

Do any of you guys do anything similar? Would you?

Ted.
FireFlare77



I often sit here, in this chair, writing, oblivious to the passing of time.



It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

<--Maroon5
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Postby Fireflare77 » Wed Mar 10, 2010 10:00 am

3/10/2010

Dear Blog,

So much has happened since... Newyears? Was that the last time I posted? Wow. Okay, well- there's been a lot of insignificant drama, though some of that will most likely change the romantic dynamics of my immeadiate social group. Ironic, the one instance where I don't want a romantic relationship, and the universe dumps it in my lap! These people are my friends- ... Um, ew?

And I auditioned for the top choir group for next yera. I heard from one of the students who's really close wtih Mr. Day (the choir director), that I did better than one of the people who I though that I was pretty much in direct competition for the stop with... So that's good. But he won't tell me wether or not he knows I made it. I can only hope I did. :-D Wish me luck everyone, I've got my fingers crossed.

Ted.
FireFlare77



I often sit here, in this chair, writing, oblivious to the passing of time.



It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

<--Maroon5
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Postby Fireflare77 » Tue Mar 16, 2010 11:29 am

3/16/2010

Dearest Blog,

A new week brings new excitement (or so my fourtane cookie from last week says). I can only speculate from this point, but I'd say that's true. With this late start for smart people day, I'm sitting in the library, waiting around, looking for some way to pass the time. So far I've come up with sketching and watching to russian kids play chess... badly. Also- I've made it to the world of youtube. I'm so proud of myself. I'm on there mutalating the national anthem at the 2010 USWC Taekwondo opens. Should anyone be interested in this- my channel name is "MrSpencerK". On the bright side, I did better than Angela who sang the korean national anthem afterwards.

Spencer
Last edited by Fireflare77 on Mon Sep 27, 2010 3:31 am, edited 1 time in total.
FireFlare77



I often sit here, in this chair, writing, oblivious to the passing of time.



It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

<--Maroon5
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Postby Fireflare77 » Mon Mar 29, 2010 7:40 pm

3/29/2010

Dearest Blog,

Wow. My romantic life saw a flip-over that I never anticipated in a million years. A senior. A senior who thinks I'm hot. A senior I think is hot who thinks I'm hot. A senior who thinks I'm hot who I think is hot who is also my best friend. Wow. I guess my life is capable of looking up.

Spencer
FireFlare77



I often sit here, in this chair, writing, oblivious to the passing of time.



It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

<--Maroon5
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Postby *Elle* » Tue Mar 30, 2010 5:35 pm

Whoo:)
R.I.P. Mikey, Brandy and Chris

Dream as if you have forever. Live as if you only have today.--James Dean

A life without cause is a life without effect--Barbella

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be.
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Postby TheMudge » Wed Mar 31, 2010 9:42 am

You do realize, of course, that "hot" is a relative term ...

I'm not saying he is or isn't ... I'm just sayin' I'm sayin' ...
"Throughout history, Truth and Love have always won." - M. Ghandi


"Truth and Love often get the crap kicked out of them along the way." -D. Mudge



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www.wowwebnow.com
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Postby Fireflare77 » Thu Apr 01, 2010 1:28 am

TheMudge wrote:You do realize, of course, that "hot" is a relative term ...

I'm not saying he is or isn't ... I'm just sayin' I'm sayin' ...


No, Mudge, I get what you're saying. It is a relative thing, but only to an extent. A little secret? We're working with the homecoming king. But not too loudly, we don't have enough for everyone :D I'm so excited :D How'd you jump straight to "he", though?

Ted.
FireFlare77



I often sit here, in this chair, writing, oblivious to the passing of time.



It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

<--Maroon5
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Postby Fireflare77 » Thu Apr 01, 2010 1:37 am

3/31/2010

Dearest Blog,

Hm... Departure from the single world. Freshman year. I never dreamed it in my wildest... Okay, maybe my wildest dreams, but that didn't happen very often. It wasn't even on my radar. It just... Happened. Boom. No big deal, no big, ceremonious banners and trumpets, and fanfares. Just sharring my biggest life secret and then dumping endless ammounts of love out into the universe. And now I'm doing the same here. It's getting easier. That scares me just a little :D Is the first week too early for love poetry? Because I've already written a little something, something... Couldn't help it, I was up all night. But surely all of you can relate: your first *real* thing? First relationship? No, it's not too early to call it a relationship. At least, I don't feel it is. And neither does he, so I guess that's all that matters. I'm just so... Happy. I don't know if I've sharred much with all of you, but the last two, maybe three years of my life have not prepared me for happiness, espically not of a romantic nature. It's sort of a thing that makes me eat my words about every person I've teased for dating someone three years older, or going so quicky from besties to couples... And now it's me... Wow. Thanks for reading. Wish me luck. Please :)

Spencer
FireFlare77



I often sit here, in this chair, writing, oblivious to the passing of time.



It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

<--Maroon5
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Fireflare77
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Postby Fireflare77 » Sun Apr 04, 2010 1:26 am

4/X/2010

Dear Blog,

I have entirely lost my concept of time. I tried just now to write a poem to that extent, but after about a week of starring at the screen, with only one stanza, I gave up. Also, I underestimated the convienence of using a computer to make posts... The date is much easier to find. I think it's still April...

Anyway, thanks, everyone, for wishing me luck. Just two more solid days of living in this madhouse, with what are only debatably called humans, but only for lack of a word to better emphasize imperfection, destructive capability, and frequent emotional whims.

And my mother! Oh dear god... I'm counting the hours untill I can be back in high school... Even 10 hours at my JOB would be better (mind you I'm still not getting paid yet for my "voulenteering" which is, in every other way, *identical* a job to the paid staff. Okay, not identical, but I take extra steps that nobody else cares enough to do. No-one knew the last time the whiteboard was properly windexed, so of course, I'm the first one to think of it. I organize *everything* too. Because I've at least got some pride. ... The more I think about it, the more cult-like it all seems. And being *behind* the magic doesn't make it any better. (sigh) I miss the days when the head-instructors cared. But someday, I'll be there. And it will be good.

That's something I've observed about life, it's got wild, turbulent, upheavles, but also balance.

Also, one can now become a fan of me on Facebook. I've almost hit 50 fans from five states and two countries. :D

School... can't wait. In other acedemic news, I watched four doccumentaries over my break, and read three chapters in my Brian Grene book (something which, if people read this, or, more unfathomably, are interested, has a really good story about it- I read it in the strangest place).

But I regret vegging, in large part, over my break. One more thing, some people who have read my blog in other areas of the net have said I have a certian wordiness about me. Others have said this makes for an interesting read. Assuming you're still awake, how do you feel?

Spencer

P.S. I do <3, <3, <3 responces! :D
FireFlare77



I often sit here, in this chair, writing, oblivious to the passing of time.



It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

<--Maroon5
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Fireflare77
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Postby Fireflare77 » Tue Apr 13, 2010 11:02 am

Wow. There's quite a bit I find myself juggling now. Between school and work, a relationship has to fit in somewhere. I guess I know how all of you feel now. But everything is so wonderful. For those of you who can't relate yet, think "gay best friend" but no less than three times as good. His name is Marq. So needless to say, I'm stoked.

Also, I've been reading Wuthering Heights, so far, I'm enjoying it. Right now I'm in the computer lab, enjoying that fact that upperclassmen have HSPE testing and us freshmen don't. So I have another two hours to fill.

Work has been... Interesting. Last week, I had (what I felt to be a) decently-concealed emotional breakdown in the staff room which lasted for all of five minutes. Why? I'm not really sure. Instructor Phil asked me how I was feeling and that was sort of the last emotional straw for me. So I told him that I was expelling rainbows from every orifice. And then it started. So then he comes in and tries to be all supportive and it just becomes a big, now-badly-concealed, mess.

But at least I'm not single.

Also, I got the first season of "Glee" over the weekend and watched it in one sitting, just in time for the debut of season two. It's a pretty good show. I'd write a review if I thought that anyone here would be interested.

Oh. So Marq and I were talking yesterday after school. I didn't have work or rehersal (ha, I've got both today), so I had a much looser schedule of when, exactly, I had to be home. So we started talking and I completely lost track of time. I meant to have an enthralling, perhaps five-minute tet-a-tete, but I wound up with about an hour. Which was nice.

Spencer
FireFlare77



I often sit here, in this chair, writing, oblivious to the passing of time.



It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

<--Maroon5
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Fireflare77
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Postby Fireflare77 » Tue Apr 13, 2010 11:16 am


I was up most of last night writing my application for Honor Society. It was both different and frightening. I'm not used to writing about how great I am, and I was expecting even less to be good at it. That scared me a little bit.

And I'll be up tonight as well. After five or more hours of unapprieciation and the consistant reminder that I'm screwing everything up, I've been asked to design a presentation for a doctor. Which has to be completed tonight in order for it to be ready in time. ... Okay, so he's my dad, but still, a certian level of quality is expected. And I've been promoted. I get paid for this now. :) That's nice. He's got some important presentation at... Like, a "Spine Symphosium"? Or something like that. He's a chiropractor.

But at least dealing with him is better than dealing with that moster of a mother that I have. She's a real nightmare. She's been all sweet lately (hence the new season of Glee), which will ultimately mean an emotional crash and burn, in which I will wind up worse off. So I've got that to look forward to.

But at least I'm not single anymore.

God, that's so new and different in my head. It just sounds. so. wrong. But it's so great at the same time. I mean, the probability of that? The number of people in my city divided by approximately ten, divided by what fraction of them would like me back, divided by what fraction of those remaining by the number mature or smart enough to be eligible, divided further still by the number who are just... THIS AMAZING.

And you'll be left with one. Okay, maybe there's more out there, but untill such a time at they make themselves known, they'll be said to not exist. Like... A unicorn. Actually, not far off from that. :)

So I hope I can bring more updates soon. :D :D :D

Spencer

P.S. Though I've sort of given up most hope of recieving comments, I still <3, <3, <3 anyone who would consider leaving one, just so make me feel like someone, anywhere, is listening :)
FireFlare77



I often sit here, in this chair, writing, oblivious to the passing of time.



It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

<--Maroon5
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Postby Fireflare77 » Fri Apr 16, 2010 2:03 pm

Mmm. I'm having a sort of implosive FML moment.

Fitting. He just walked in. Again. I try to live under the delusion that I'm religiously tollerant, but that's just been getting harder for me. I'm now quite thourgally convinced that "the mormons" are ruining my life. I wish that I could expand on this thought, but to a group of people who exist "somewhere out there", who haven't been there to watch as Carter single-handedly undermines everything that I try to do, and just.... I want to scream right now. And come what may, I actually might. It's so tempting. Either that, or pulling out my hair, or both. Between pressures from EVERYTHING ELSE, I *really* don't have the mental capacity to deal with all the SUCK that these... Holier-than-thou bullshitters are throwing at my life. I need to go get some fresh air.
FireFlare77



I often sit here, in this chair, writing, oblivious to the passing of time.



It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.

<--Maroon5

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