Del's blog: Can't argue with Moses...

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Postby xcheck24 » Thu Apr 01, 2010 10:54 pm

TheMudge wrote:There's a reason I don't do social networking AT ALL ...


Where's the fun in THAT?
I mean, you could be on Twitter reading Charles post about pie. And puppets.
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Postby Delaney » Sat Apr 03, 2010 6:07 pm

Ah, Twitter I've managed to avoid. And I've only started hanging on Facebook alot because Carla played some stupid Farmville game, got me into it and now I'm hooked.

I still attest it is the dumbest game I have ever played. It requires no skill, just click, click, click, all over the place and get points. I've never done so little to be awarded so much... the instant gratification factor is overwhelming.
<i>It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people. - Terry Pratchett</i>
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Postby Delaney » Wed Apr 07, 2010 5:08 pm

My life in a nutshell: working two jobs, never have time for myself, and my car is on the fritz again.

I refuse to put anymore money into that car. Its been bleeding me dry lately.

So now on to finding a better car so I can catch up on my finances.

More news:

1. I cried over Jamie last night.

2. Debbie has a kinda sorta boyfriend.

3. Lately I feel like I'm working so I can make money so I can work.

4. More work.

5. And some work.

6. Working...

7. I get a day off, which means 9 out of 10 times I end up working that day.

8. Work.
<i>It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people. - Terry Pratchett</i>
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Postby Delaney » Wed Apr 07, 2010 6:05 pm

On the plus side:
Image

Image
Little boys grow up so fast :-)
<i>It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people. - Terry Pratchett</i>
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Postby *Elle* » Thu Apr 08, 2010 1:10 pm

Im going to have to find you on Facebook Del:)
R.I.P. Mikey, Brandy and Chris
Dream as if you have forever. Live as if you only have today.--James Dean
A life without cause is a life without effect--Barbella
If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be.
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Postby Delaney » Thu Apr 08, 2010 3:18 pm

PM me Elle, I still need Farmville neighbors! lol.

Well, now that I'm less pissy...

Good things have been happening too. I met someone - always fun - but its been slow going as I don't have a car/time for anything or anyone right now. But finally we made our first date, Tuesday night (I work too many crazy hours to do a weekend), and I'm excited. I admit something's still holding me back though... its that little heart pull for Jamie.

You know, it used to be so EASY... drop one, pick up another. Its not as easy anymore. Now there's all this... pull.

But for awhile, and even during my brief dating encounter with Carla, I just had nothing to give at all. No libido, no interest... and then after Carla my interest in anyone just plunged to new depths. And the whole time Debbie was falling all over herself for this new guy, and I'd sit there, trying to listen, trying to care, but wishing I could just cover my ears and run away.

Or that she'd talk about, like, bills or something. Not the love crap. Anything but the love crap.

And out of nowhere pops this girl. A girl who is quirky, a little weird, likes JTHM (!), and I just introduced her to Squee!!!, and basically she's just been warming me up a bit.

I mentioned her to Mark, who said, "How old is she?"

"22."

"YES! I approve!"

"I haven't even said anything about her yet, dude."

"Oh, right. Okay, tell me about her."

"Okay, well.... she's Jamaican, really cute, works with kids but doesn't mind that I can't stand kids... um... we both like metal, she's wiccan, she's educated, very smart..."

"Where's she live?"

"An hour and 34 minutes away, near Boston," I said glumly.

"I APPROVE! Now THAT'S the girl for you, Claire!"

"You're an asshole, dude."

He just smiled happily to himself.
<i>It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people. - Terry Pratchett</i>
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Postby Delaney » Fri Apr 09, 2010 10:56 pm

Oh my god... I'm becoming a Uhaul lesbian.

:roll:
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Postby *Elle* » Sun Apr 11, 2010 1:52 pm

Uhaul lesbian?
R.I.P. Mikey, Brandy and Chris

Dream as if you have forever. Live as if you only have today.--James Dean

A life without cause is a life without effect--Barbella

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be.
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Postby Fireflare77 » Tue Apr 13, 2010 10:45 am

*Elle* wrote:Im going to have to find you on Facebook Del:)


I'd be quite honored to be your FB buddy as well, that is if you'd have me :D
Last edited by Fireflare77 on Fri Apr 16, 2010 1:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby *Elle* » Tue Apr 13, 2010 1:33 pm

Fireflare77 wrote:
*Elle* wrote:Im going to have to find you on Facebook Del:)


I'd be quite honored to be your FB buddy as well, that is if you'd have me :D


of course duuude!!! I will find you
R.I.P. Mikey, Brandy and Chris

Dream as if you have forever. Live as if you only have today.--James Dean

A life without cause is a life without effect--Barbella

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be.
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Postby Delaney » Wed Apr 14, 2010 8:27 pm

Elle: 1. You are impossible to find on FB.
2. Uhaul lesbian refers to the fact that I have pretty much JUST met Marcia and we're already looking for new jobs and apartments.

*sigh*.... Alright, I'm smitten. Truely smitten. Our date was amazing. She is amazing. She's beautiful, smart, wears her heart on her sleeve which is SO refreshing because I HATE pretense... and we just have so much in common. We had the most beautiful night last night... and when she left I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about her so much. And she's just as crazy as I am :-)

And I'm ready to get out. And Boston sounds perfect.

Its been over year in one place and I'm antsy. The Wanderer in me wants to pack up and go somewhere new... and why stay? Why did I come back to this area in the first place?

Oh. Right.

The job... that I don't have anymore. Then Jamie... who I don't have anymore. The only thing left really is Mark, and if I wait until he moves someplace it'll probably be a nursing home.

I think, if everything goes the way its been going, in a few months I'll be outta here.
<i>It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people. - Terry Pratchett</i>
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Postby Fireflare77 » Fri Apr 16, 2010 1:54 pm

*Elle* wrote:
Fireflare77 wrote:
*Elle* wrote:Im going to have to find you on Facebook Del:)


I'd be quite honored to be your FB buddy as well, that is if you'd have me :D


of course duuude!!! I will find you


I was reffering to delany, Elle, but yeah, I'll find you too. :P
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Postby *Elle* » Fri Apr 16, 2010 1:57 pm

Lol. Okay.
Today was the day of silence didn't so I didn't talk so proud
R.I.P. Mikey, Brandy and Chris

Dream as if you have forever. Live as if you only have today.--James Dean

A life without cause is a life without effect--Barbella

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be.
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Postby Delaney » Sun Apr 18, 2010 7:46 pm

Glad you found me Elle :) And yes, especially if you have a stupid farm like I do, but yes Fireflare :)

So this upcoming Sunday I'm heading to Boston to see my girl, meet the chosen fam, scope the place out... I finally had a day off today, and all that seems to do is engage my mind in things I'd rather not think about. The past couple months has been full of... abrupt... events. I think I just didn't have alot of time to deal with it. Now its seriously interrupting my sleep. And I mean like, 4 hours here, up for the rest of the day. Kinda blows. But Marcia helps. I can't wait!!!
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Postby Delaney » Tue Apr 20, 2010 12:01 pm

So here's a pickle:

After careful consideration, and some convincing from others, I finally sat at the computer today to join the twitter empire. And you would not BELIEVE what happened when I put in my email address to sign up.

They told me somebody by that exact address was ALREADY on Twitter. Which means, A: Somebody who knows my email addy must've done it, so its somebody I know, and B. That somebody also has my password somehow, because you have to confirm a Twitter account via said email addy.

I am so PISSED! When will the internet stalking END?
<i>It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people. - Terry Pratchett</i>
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Postby *Elle* » Tue Apr 20, 2010 1:27 pm

Lol that sucks.
I have a Twitter just to annoy people
R.I.P. Mikey, Brandy and Chris

Dream as if you have forever. Live as if you only have today.--James Dean

A life without cause is a life without effect--Barbella

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Postby xcheck24 » Wed Apr 21, 2010 7:57 pm

That's bizarre, uncool and creepy. Why in God's name would someone start a Twitter account with your email address? And wouldn't you know if you had a Twitter account with your email address? I get emails from Twitter whenever someone follows me.
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Postby Delaney » Wed Apr 21, 2010 11:46 pm

I honestly don't know. The only theory that seems feasible is somebody messing with me... an ex? I guess it would be easy enough to get my password from my home or - possibly - the computer at my old job, but I have no idea. And I was getting some weird emails for awhile... but I just kinda brushed it off. And to be honest, a LOT of crap was going on while Deb was in her manic phase before she was hospitalized... anything could've happened and she was even hallucinating then, so its not like even SHE could tell me if she messed with one of my accounts (we share the home computer). Either way, passwords are officially changed.
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Postby xcheck24 » Thu Apr 22, 2010 7:54 pm

Did you claim that Twitter account? Just tell it that you forgot your password.
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Postby Delaney » Thu Apr 29, 2010 12:49 pm

Honestly I was so pissed I didn't even think of it. I'm just gonna scrap the whole Twitter thing I think. I'm a little disgusted.
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Postby Delaney » Fri Apr 30, 2010 2:07 pm

Oh my god... I actually have a few moments to SIT. And UPDATE.

So I am officially working three jobs now, and a fourth on the way. All this and no vehicle either. How do I manage it, you ask?

Sheer ingenuity. And simple guilt trips.

Between Mark's family and Debbie's godawfulhorriblegasguzzlingIhateitsomuch Jeep, I have managed to spin plates over my head with some degree of difficulty. On average, I do 40 hrs. at one place - mostly overnights - and then some relief work at a group home job, and next to THAT is a general labor type thing that my manager got me into to work alongside her (she's a workaholic, I'm just poor), and our supervisor, the LOVELY Susan, is supervisor for both places.

And wow, Susan. When I met her I wondered if maybe, just maybe, there truly is a God after all... a non - homophobic god who can appreciate my desire to have serious androgynous/butchy eye candy in my management. I was already doing the group home work, so my interview for this other job wasn't particularly lengthy... I filled out the application as best I could while gawking at her, and then it was her throwing me hours and saying, "So does that sound like something you'd be interested in?"

I barely let her finish her sentence. YES! YES! TAKE ME!

Well okay, I tried to be cooler than that. I can never be sure of my success though.

Now a fourth under-the-table kind of job has cropped up, and if I get a car this weekend, I can take it!

Its so ironic. I have job offers up the ass but no way to get to all of them. But I think I want to ditch the first job I got. I was really bonding with my client but everybody is on death's door there and one day she just popped off. I'm pretty good at being stoic with most death situations, but I don't think I can do that every month or so.

And the company never f#$%ing leaves me alone. They call on my every day off. Schedules go out the window and new ones are placed. Its too hectic. That's one plate that's dangerously close to spinning off and hitting someone in the front row.

And then there's the new girlfriend, Marcia. Definitely loving her, everything is going really well. I spent four days in Boston with her and her friends, had a great time, and she and I and two of her friends are planning a move.

Yeah, I'd like to leave this place. Sometimes I feel like I never should've come back to this area. But at the time, it seemed the safest and most practical option... cheap rent, my own place (after the scarring experience with Rachel and Dan), peace, quiet, old job... it was all wonderfully comfortable. But now its like, why am I HERE? NOTHING happens here. Its really hard to move on. Dating is insane, Marcia is two hours away and despite the fact that she's 22 (her one flaw lol), I think we have some real potential for a long term relationship. She's a Jamaican, 22 year old me. Oh, except she likes kids. I generally don't. We differ there. Maybe that's good.

But moral of story, I don't want to be two hours away from this girl forever, and in about four month's time it'll probably be a decent time to move on anyway. I got a letter from Jamie the other day... from prison. She's really there. When I saw her name on it, I just burst into tears. She really got ten years, but I guess they're trying to bring it down... either way, there's nothing left for me here anymore. It's really time to go... typical Sagittarius I guess. Never in the same spot for too long.
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Postby xcheck24 » Fri Apr 30, 2010 10:31 pm

I sometimes think I need a character list to keep up with your updates. haha
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Postby Delaney » Mon May 03, 2010 8:28 pm

Uh-oh, where'd I lose you lol?

Craziest thing in the world happened today...

So this morning I was pretty sure I was doomed. The day before had been terrible. Debbie (roommate) had told me that she wasn't going to keep giving me rides, because her vindictive ex (who doesn't like me) told her he would stop giving her money every month if she did. She was upset, I was upset... no ride, no jobs, no jobs, no rent, no rent, no home... and on and on.

So that day I had to tell 2 of my jobs that I may not even be able to finish out the week, and the waterworks just kept on spilling out. I figured I could at least keep one for now, the one with sexy Susan running it, for the week, so I didn't tell her right away.

Then this morning the car Mark's dad had been lending me blew out, and I couldn't even get to that job. So I called, left a message for Susan, and tried to contemplate some other plan to save my livelihood.

Then a bit later Susan calls me, and offers to pick me up for work. I was in shock.

So we're in the car and its all awkward... I made some small talk, then she started to ask me these weird questions... I didn't think much of it because I was still too worried about my own stuff.

I finished out my work day, was closing up, and Susan takes me aside and tells me that's she's been looking for someone to deliver and do sales and if I'd be interested. It pays two dollars more than I've EVER made in my life, fulltime, monday through friday, 730 to about 3p, and bonuses for every sale I make. I told her I was interested but with my car situation I wasn't sure I could be dependable yet, so I'd have to get back to her.

Then Mark's dad calls me to make sure I got there and back okay, and I told him what Susan offered, and he said DO NOT pass up that opportunity, we will get my car in the shop TOMORROW, and if I can't pay for the whole thing he'll pay and I can pay him back a little each week!

LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL! FINALLY!
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Postby xcheck24 » Mon May 03, 2010 8:39 pm

That's amazing news Del. :)
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Postby Delaney » Thu May 06, 2010 3:49 pm

I start training tomorrow! I'm excited for that. Plus I got to see sexy Susan all day, so even more fun for me.

But a moment of venting...

Never live with anyone you're not sleeping with. I thought I had sort of gotten past this rule of mine, because technically Debbie and I HAVE slept together. But as its not a continuous thing (it actually never happened again, despite her occasional interest), I think that must be the drawback.

As I believe I have already alluded to, the months since February have not been particularly kind. I quit my job, and THAT drama was just... bad. And right after Debbie was hospitalized because she had gone on so many "dates" (an average of 2-3 a day/night) that she had exhausted herself to the point of hallucination, and was falling all over the place. And because she was manic, she was being a right little brat too. The night before she was hospitalized I caught her getting involved in some really dangerous stuff, stuff that sooner or later could hurt me too. That was when I had to abandon all "tolerance" of her choices and call her therapist to let him know she'd hit the deep end. Some of this dangerous stuff is STILL spilling over into our lives, as one "date" is clearly dangerous and sending her threatening texts and calling every day despite her telling him (at my request) to leave her alone.

Then Jamie and I break up again, and later I discover she's locked up, and all the while I've been trying to tackle three jobs so that I can pay the bills. Unfortunately that meant I had to use her vehicle, which I COMPLETELY understand sucks big time, but when it comes to the choice of paying rent and having a home, or losing a little time going on "dates", I assumed it was a no-brainer.

Apparently not.

I get the inconvenience, and well, I actually get all of her perspective. I guess what I don't get is that after all I've done and put up with from HER, including saving her butt in the first place by wrangling it so that she could move in here and pay about $200 less than she was and going totally broke, she couldn't be more understanding about it. If I were sitting on my ass all day, I'd totally understand. But THREE JOBS. THREE! Did she think I was having fun? That I was out carousing with the girls?

So we're about a week late on a couple bills. We called, its fine, payment plan yadayadayada. But obviously she was freaked out because we couldn't pay everything in full this month. Princess wanted me to magically get more money somehow. So we could keep the Comcast!

And my reply was, Comcast is not a necessity. I know its been awhile since you had your asshole boyfriend build you a house and fund your every expenditure - including her Jeep, eating out, and all her bills - but this is REAL life now, and in REAL LIFE, WE ARE POOR. We don't get to always have cable and internet at our fingertips and "dates" in New Hampshire in the middle of the night in a hotel just BECAUSE. Sometimes we have to lose that stuff, and personally, I have lived places where we had to shut off the gas too. That's life. Kinda have to accept it and move on.

I certainly don't expect her to LIKE it, but her spoiled brat attitude is just pissing me off and making me feel like she's being a little ungrateful. We can't pay the bills, you're blaming me, but you work 2 hrs a week or something, just bought a gym membership, and *I'm* to blame??? How about if she's so worried, she stop playing around all the time, hell bent on her expensive Atkin's diet/gym membership fitness goals and lose some weight going to WORK?

Am I being unreasonable? I kinda don't think so. Though admittedly, I am crabby and tired and have little patience to suffer fools, and I never noticed it when things were peachy keen, but now that they're not, I'm realizing... she's actually kind of stupid. Or ditzy. And boy crazy. Like a teenager.

I think I liked her better when she was depressed. I mean, I worried, but at least she was a little more grounded.

Oh, well. Just had to get that out. I'm kinda stuck with her now, and I'm not going to kick her out or anything, because that's just rancid, unless there was some kind of danger or totally out of control behavior.

Scratch that. I guess that already happened, huh?

You're WELCOME Debbie! Thanks for being so supportive when for once *I* needed YOU!

Jesus. I need to sleep. I get my car back tonight or tomorrow, so the end of needing her Jeep for work. I train for the driver job tomorrow, and sexy Susan is gorgeous and smiled at me all day when she was hanging around. Life can't be that bad, right?

Blue skies.
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