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Anblick
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Postby Anblick » Tue Feb 16, 2010 3:31 pm

My oldest son is autistic. It's not the end of the world and it Is possible they can grow out of it. To me, it makes me a better parent, if no other reason than I learn more patience with his learning abilities...
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Postby Delaney » Tue Feb 16, 2010 9:31 pm

Yeah, I can't say I was all that surprised. He's like a tiny clone of me and with all of MY issues... well, nobody was shocked. I am glad that he has parents that are on top of everything and compassionate. Thing is he's already pulling some typical Claire stuff. Like, his teacher was sending notes home from school about his performance, particularly that he did not know any of his letters. Then Andrea (his mom) started holding up random flashcards of letters and Zach recited each one perfectly and without hesitation. He just doesn't like his teacher! So he's doing the I'm-gonna-play-dumb-just-to-piss-you-off-and-be-uncooperative thing.

Also he's bored. Another complaint was that he was scoring low on his papers... the teacher would say, "Circle this, put a line through this" and instead he'd underline or color over or something. And if you ask him, he knows exactly what to do. He's just this attitude like, I could do this with my eyes closed, don't insult me.

Anyways, there's another school in the area that his parents are considering putting him into, a charter school or something, someplace that hopefully will challenge him and give him special attention.

*sigh* kids...
<i>It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people. - Terry Pratchett</i>
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Postby Delaney » Thu Feb 18, 2010 8:18 pm

I GOT A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND IT PAYS BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND THEY ALREADY LOVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

\:D/ \:D/ \:D/
<i>It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people. - Terry Pratchett</i>
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Postby Delaney » Fri Feb 19, 2010 5:01 pm

OMG what a day. Long, long day. First thing this am I called Mark's dad to help me with my car, got it inspected, drove it to my orientation for work -and that thing was LOOOOONG- and I only just got home to take a shower and go to bed.

Yes, go to bed. Well before 6. Because I already have 40 hrs. scheduled. And if it takes, I'll be eligible for a "substantial raise" in 6 months. Plus benefits, which I totally forget how all that works 'cause all the information was thrown at me like WHOOSH, but I left there so happy, I'm still wondering what the catch is.

I was being wooed. Complimented. People spoke to me and came out impressed. I amazed myself. I had no idea I had all that in me.

So I start tomorrow, hopefully it goes well. If I hate it I have another job in the wings, so finally, my life is heading upswing. Hell, I even got socks :P
<i>It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people. - Terry Pratchett</i>
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Postby xcheck24 » Fri Feb 19, 2010 11:37 pm

What is the new job? :)
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Postby Richard Howardson » Mon Feb 22, 2010 1:58 pm

firstly congrats on getting a job and nice to hear tht you are doing well in it. Second...with xcheck...what's the job?
And lastly...what's with the socks?!
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Postby Delaney » Tue Feb 23, 2010 5:58 pm

Its basically the same thing I was doing - caregiving stuff. So far I think I like it. I have some other leads and I'm going to check those out too. Thanks for the congrats :-)
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Postby Delaney » Tue Feb 23, 2010 5:59 pm

Debbie's HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!
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Postby *Elle* » Tue Feb 23, 2010 7:50 pm

That's great:)
R.I.P. Mikey, Brandy and Chris
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Postby Delaney » Tue Mar 02, 2010 6:13 pm

Wow, s much has happened and Ive been so busy lately I don't even have time to go into it all. So here's the rap sheet:

1. this morning jamie came over, sat me down and said she had to give me something and asked if i wanted to be hers, all hers, just hers. then she presented me with the most BEAUTIFUL diamond and pearl gold ring. It has diamonds on one side, pearls on the other, and is raised in a kind of fern design shape. it is the most beautiful ring ive ever seen. AMAZING. and its all real. i cant stop looking at it. and because its raised i have to wear it around my neck at work, so jamie also bought me a gold chain :-)

2. Carla, the horrible date woman i met on valentines day, has suddenly done a 180 and is now all over me, metaphorically speaking. jesus christ, its another one of those "stop chasing the dream and the dream chases me " things. shes been texting me morning, noon and night, constantly. and i asked her after awhile, like, are we really being friends here? cuz i dont need another friend. u do realize people just say that and then u move on, right?

well, that never happened. s now shes all, 'i feel so connected to you' and blah blah blah, and i have jamie, so i told her right off the bat i have no intention of cheating on her... so much girly drama. ridiculous. then she asked me out on another date lol, like the first one wasnt horrible enough. so i said yes, as friends, we can hang out. nothing funny.

3. My job is f#$%ing AWESOME. and, small world, Cathey with a 'C's" aunt works at the same place and we bumped into each other and just started chatting. it was alot of fun, and my client LOVES me, and she doesnt like the other staff. she asks for me all the time and i never have a problem with her. so far im the favorite :-) i love being loved, and i have to admit, although everything is a little complicated (as usual... would it be my life if it werent?) i like feeling like a princess :D
<i>It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people. - Terry Pratchett</i>
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Postby *Elle* » Wed Mar 03, 2010 1:59 pm

That's great.
Im glad life is working out for you and Congrats on you and Jamie:)
R.I.P. Mikey, Brandy and Chris

Dream as if you have forever. Live as if you only have today.--James Dean

A life without cause is a life without effect--Barbella

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be.
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Postby Delaney » Fri Mar 05, 2010 5:19 pm

Thanks. I've been so annoying, flashing my ring around in the faces of unsuspecting waiters, pharmacists, and random people I bump into...
<i>It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people. - Terry Pratchett</i>
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Postby Delaney » Mon Mar 08, 2010 10:54 pm

O. My. God.

I can browse the internet with my phone. I just discovered this. Like 2 seconds ago.

So THIS is what all the fuss is about! I get it now... how liberating, how sneaky!

And I discovered it in record Claire time: at least 5 years after everybody else became fluent at typing with a microscopic keyboard!

Anyways, I should probably qualify that "sneaky" remark. I'm at work, which currently means that I am sitting in a blue recliner while an old woman snores or hallucinates, for another 7 1/2 hours, across from a 32" flat screen hi~def tv that I am not allowed to use.

Lest I disrupt the snoring.

But this internet thing... this is cool.

Watch it ring up a major bill.

Well its worth it. Usually on my work days Carla is endlessly texting me which at least gives me something to do.

That girl is something else. We agreed there was no chemistry in person, was doing just fine with the 'friends' thing, and now apparently shes in love or something like that. So what caused the transformation? Is this a game to her? Is she just a nutter?

As Mark said the other day, "Are you sure you wanna date women? Because they seem to be the cause of your problems."

Well put.

I'm crazy about Jamie but shes had to work more lately. I hate not being around her for too long. Makes me cranky.

And Mark I barely ever see. Its partly our schedules, but part of me thinks we're growing apart.

I cut some more dead weight from the friendship tree though. Just like when I quit my old job; lose the useless ones and keep the good ones near.

Despite all this pruning, I have felt ridiculously popular. Ive been out and treated to dinner, drinks, some tokin' and random mischief. Been fun actually.

Ugh. But I need a cig.
<i>It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people. - Terry Pratchett</i>
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Postby Delaney » Fri Mar 12, 2010 4:15 pm

Busy busy busy...

So today I had another interview, it went FANTASTIC, we're talking CORI checks and schedules and meeting up with clients, so I'm fairly certain I got it. And amazingly, I told the truth about why I quit my other job, not the details of course, but then again I still don't feel comfortable writing about the details HERE. But I gave her the gist, and it actually happened to work in my favor.

How often does THAT happen?

And so far I'm impressed with the company.

And tomorrow I get treated to dinner and a movie :-) Jamie has barely been paying any attention to our relationship lately, and I have to say I'm getting suspicious. She comes over here for a little while, brings me gifts and lavish promises, I become smitten again, and then suddenly I'm not allowed over her house and she never calls. She used to call almost every night, or at least text. Now she barely does that.

When I got my ring from her, I was sooo happy. And I remember Debbie giving me this look and saying, "I'm trying really hard to be happy for you..."

And I asked her what that was about. And she said that Jamie is charming, when she comes over Debbie gets good feelings about her again. But once she leaves the same thing happens. She's MIA until the next time she has an itch she can't scratch, and she overloads me with gifts (Deb thinks) to compensate for not really being much of a girlfriend, as far as nurturing and time goes.

So I've been waiting. And waiting. Not a phone call. Nothing. And I've decided I'm not even going to bother until she starts getting her act together and treating me like a real part of her life. Because in the end, you can't buy me. My dad used to try that all the time. But I shouldn't be waiting around for her forever while having no idea what's happening in her life. That's not a relationship.

So like I said, tomorrow, dinner and a movie. With Carla. Innocently enough. And I suppose when Jamie feels like acting like a girlfriend, she'll make it known. Till then, the more time goes by without her participating in this relationship, the less time I have for it as well.

And hell, I have lots to celebrate and others who want to celebrate with me, and actually GIVE A DAMN. So I'm going out.
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Postby Delaney » Mon Mar 15, 2010 1:38 am

So I had my date with Carla - 'cause let's be real - it was a date. Or what she called a second chance to prove herself since the last date was so awful.

It was great. She treated me to dinner, then we went to see Alice in Wonderland (phenomenal, btw). She was jokey, playful, funny and sweet. Opened doors for me, sat nice and close in the theater... it was just... lovely.

She's got alot of energy, and is brimming with personality. She speaks three languages, she's adorable, and has all the qualities I am most attracted to: dark hair, glasses, a cute nose. She's as short as I am, not too big not too small, has that mischievous little smile that I love so much on women but minus the extensive criminal record that Jamie possesses. She has the sexiest voice... that kind of slightly raspy, alto sound that I've always found attractive. She's romantic, she has a good job, she takes care of her mom, she has an adorable 18 year old Husky named Gus...

She was picking me up, from an hour away, because I've been having car troubles (AGAIN). I was going to meet her in the driveway, because I didn't want her to see the house.

It has been a disaster.

Then she texts me and tells me she needs the bathroom.

F*ck.

So I text back, okay, but just so you know the place looks like its been hit by a tornado. So be warned.

She came in, looks around, goes, "Wow, you weren't kidding!" And laughs. "And um, who's pink bra is this over the chair here?"

F*ck.

"That's mine, yeah, sorry. I kind of tend to... spread out..."

She just giggled again, good naturally, said hi to Debbie, used the bathroom, and never said another word about it. She didn't even care.

This is a huge change from Jamie, who upon entering my place often scowls at it and shakes her head as if I'm personally trying to offend her. And she always gives me sh!# about it. And I'm always like, It's MY place! Boundaries, woman! You have no say, no right to complain about any of it, because its MINE!

She doesn't listen.

Then in the theater with Carla, as we're watching the movie, there's a scene where Johnny Depp as Mad Hatter jumps up on the cluttered, messy table and steps and crashes all over the dishes and tea and everything is falling everywhere, and I lean over to Carla and whisper, "Look, it's my kitchen!" And she just bowls over giggling.

She complimented my hair (short, got it cut again), encouraged me to eat MORE at dinner... oh, and another wonderful thing: she's a smoker.

This is phenomenal. Smokers have a rhythm: you eat dinner, you reach for a cig, you drink coffee, you reach for a cig, you sit through a long movie, you're booking to the cold air outside to have a cig, you drive, you have a cig. Its so refreshing to be with another smoker, especially on a date. Because then they don't find you rude when you have to ask them to stand in the rain and cold while you smoke your lungs away. If you're with another smoker, you barely think about it. You just go together automatically.

The night wasn't just sweet, it was fun. SHE was fun. Very playful. And I started to realize, this is so much better, that we started as friends. It just seems to... work.

At the end of the date she's driving me back home, stops for gas, and surprises me with flowers. I was smiling the whole ride home.

She asks to use the bathroom again as she's dropping me off, she comes in, chats a little, then we're standing there awkwardly. I tell her I'll walk her out. I close the door, I go in for a hug and a kiss on the cheek... she catches my lips and suddenly we're kissing under the rain. And it felt so good. I haven't been kissed like that for sooo long.

So this whole date thing was kind of a test, to see, once and for all, if there was really any chemistry between us in person. And there most definitely was. And we talk all the time, I know all about her friends and her life and her family, she knows all about me, she definitely knows about Jamie, and in case you're wondering, I have not heard a peep from Jamie tonight. But then, I'm getting used to that.

I keep thinking of what Cathey told me awhile ago. She asked me, what the hell is Jamie doing for you? Is she paying your bills? Is she fixing your car?

And actually, I had to respond with, well, yes she has been helpful...

And Cathey goes, No, no, no. She's not THERE for you. She's trying to keep you! And what's with this entitlement bullshit, some other woman (Simone) on the side! She can't have her cake and eat it too! It's not fair to you and you can do better!

I really think Simone is still very much around. Probably in her bed. Which would explain why Jamie never calls me anymore, hardly ever texts, and treats visits at my house like pit stops before going back to Disney Land. Sure, she wants to keep her sweet girl, the one she likes to f*ck, but she also wants someone like Simone, who has lots of money, connections, and is possessive enough to dive right in and practically live there. Simone has nice cars, a big wallet and loves to boss people around, so she's a perfect surrogate mom to Jamie's kids.

Maybe Cathey's been right all along. And Debbie, and of course, Carla.

Because you know what I want?

I want to spend a few nights with Carla. I want to snuggle with her and nap on a rainy day. I want to meet her mom. I want to meet her dog. I want to sit next to her on her couch, sharing an ashtray and trying to kick her ass at Super Mario Bros. I want to go to P-Town with her this summer. I want to ride on the back of that motorcycle of hers with my arms held around her tightly. I want to do all these things that we've talked about. I want a f#$%ing LIFE with someone! Not just a ring that appears to be some kind of symbolic insurance that I'll stay. Not constant jail/cheating/insensitivity drama where I have no idea if my girlfriend is lying to me or not and I have to actually question whether she may have stolen my roommate's credit card number or not! Because you know, if you have to be that suspicious of a person, then they might as well have done it.

Carla's birthday is coming up. I asked her what she wanted.

'Nothing you can buy.'

'Then what?'

'I'd be happy to just have you.'
<i>It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people. - Terry Pratchett</i>
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Postby Fireflare77 » Tue Mar 16, 2010 11:40 am

Delaney wrote:Carla's birthday is coming up. I asked her what she wanted.

'Nothing you can buy.'

'Then what?'

'I'd be happy to just have you.'


Aw. I think you've found a keeper ;)
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Postby Delaney » Thu Mar 18, 2010 12:06 am

Well, happy early birthday to Carla...

So as anyone may have guessed by now, if only by understanding the wavelength my life tends to follow, Jamie and I broke up, Carla and I are officially in a relationship, and Jamie was sentenced to ten years in state prison.

Not sure I'm ready to focus on that last one just yet... still reeling from shock a little.

Today Debbie and I got some bad news. The gas company dude knocked on our door and informed us that he was there to shut us off. Our fuel assistance, although we were informed that we were approved way back in December and told not to pay anything because they'd take care of it, had not kicked in. We were told we owed over 1,000.

Suddenly our asses got kicked into gear. What a serious teamwork process. She went through the paperwork, we figured out what we needed, I found a fax machine in town to send every damn page necessary and probably some that weren't, sent a quick email to my old workplace to show I had changed jobs, got to a fuel assistance office, sent it all, and by 2pm they called and said, wow. Good work. You're covered.

You know. AGAIN.

I swear those crazy bastards asked for every piece of paper we had save old report cards from high school. I was surprised they didn't inquire about our college GPA scores :roll:

Meanwhile Carla is helping me with my car, which is on the outs again. We thought it was the alternator, then realized we're missing a belt. Debbie pointed this out because I didn't even know which part was the alternator, let alone there was supposed to be a belt attached to it. But she texted me all the info I needed, got a belt today, and tomorrow its being installed and we go from there. Hopefully my car will be back!

What a sweetie I have :)
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Postby Delaney » Fri Mar 19, 2010 11:03 am

So I'm in this building, and something was happening there but the event alludes me now, and suddenly I'm talking to this woman that I've never seen before but apparently know very well. She's a teacher, and English teacher I think, and I ask her how its working out for her. The clawed feet, the wings?

She says she's getting better at it, that its a work in progress but she can't wait until her new form is fully realized.

And I tell her, that I admit I am skeptical. Is it really worth it? Is she sure this is what she wants to be? After all, she doesn't fit in at all anymore.

And she says, if you only could see what I see, you'd understand. Come with me? I'll show you what I get to see.

And she takes my hand and we climb up a dirt hill, struggling all the way because its loose dirt underfoot and its dark and cramped. Nobody goes this way. And she brings me to the top and I gasp, I can't believe it.

Glaciers, white and spectacular, reaching from where we stand and beyond on either side of us. We're flying and and soon I can fly alone, I have my own feathers and clawed feet, my own wingspan, and I'm zooming around just high enough to see everything and swoop down and my claws graze the water and its ice cold and invigorating. There's bubbles and wind and blood on the rocks, and from so high up... its so beautiful, its the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

And then I knew, I just felt it, that I now I wanted to start my transformation and be with her up here, able to look at the earth and get the whole story, to see it all at once what others can't see or begin to describe.

So that was my dream. I so rarely have good ones, I felt I should write it down :)
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Postby Delaney » Mon Mar 22, 2010 12:08 pm

So I'm feeling the head-game wave...

I'm not even sure she knows she's being annoying lol. Carla, that is.

She fixes my car (yay!) remains very very sweet and then suddenly *poof* turns into a weirdo.

Actually, I might be being a tad insensitive here. I know she said she struggles with depression, and I'm pretty sure that's what her current moodiness is all about... but its bringing me DOWN. Like, way way down.

And for once *I'm* completely happy.

And of course you can't tell her anything, to get treated, anything. Ugh, I hate that.

And I am totally resisting the urge to be like, 'Carla, maybe we moved too fast. Let's just be friends for awhile.'

Or forever. Because as part of my pruning the dead-weight project (which by the way, has made me happier the whole time just by getting the unnecessary negativity away from me), I've abolished alot of dark thinking and attitudes from my existence. Even within my circle of friends, I make it known that if I hear ONE 'I'm so fat" conversation coming on, I am getting up and refuse to participate in the self-hatred. I'm sick of it. I don't believe in it, it doesn't help anybody, and its usually untrue and always does more harm than good. I'm done with the crappy body-image stuff. I'd rather be "fat" and happy than thin and hating myself all the time.

Carla mostly participates in the "I'm worthless" depression stuff. And on the one hand, I want to be there for her, but on the other hand, if there's no advise a person will take, if there's no way to get them to a better place, AND they just serve in bringing me down, what is the point?

So out of guilt, and maybe a smidge of hope that this is just a phase, I'm sticking around for a little bit. But I have the "just friends" speech on the tip of my tongue, and if she beats me to it, more the better. Less guilt, and then I can move on to... ME. I think once this thing explodes I'm gonna stay single for awhile, maybe get involved in some kind of hobby/group or volunteering for a bit, just to expand my reach and my life. I'm just so OVER being unhappy right now, I just have no place for it. Bad stuff happens? Grumble, deal with it... but don't let it take over.

I guess you could say I'm becoming an optimist in my old age :)
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Postby Chris725 » Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:03 am

You can only do so much, sweetie. And you have the right attitude about not letting the bad stuff take over. Yeah, it's understandable to grieve over a breakup for a while, but it's not the end of the world. You still have your friends :wink: and so I am certain everything will work out. :) xoxo
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Postby Delaney » Mon Mar 29, 2010 3:40 pm

Thanks hun :)

Well, it finally went *kaput*. Maybe I shouldn't have tried dating so quickly, because I started to lose my patience with Carla.

Firstly, I don't care about imaginary problems. If you have a real issue than I can sympathize and if I can help I will.

Carla turned out to be a bottomless pit whiner. I got tired of it VERY quickly, and as I often do when I am tired and getting bored, I may have said something to that effect, and suggested that maybe the reason her friends wouldn't talk to her was because she keeps blowing them off, and maybe the reason that last girl left her was because she was being kinda self-involved.

It didn't go over well.

The next day she changed her relationship status on facebook. FACEBOOK. Oh my god, are we in high school again? She doesn't even bother to talk to me? She's 36! Shouldn't she have grown up by now?

So finally I talked to her and said the above, followed by do not contact me, you are immature and play head games, and I am busy and seriously do not have time for you.

To which she replied that she didn't want to break up... blah blah blah.

Too late. We're done. Thanks for the memories.

Another bottomless pit annoyance is not surprising - my friend Kat, who upon entering our apartment today to visit Debbie, did her usual, "I feel so fat" thing, which is doubly annoying because it begs the question - if you're spreading negativity about yourself all the time to US, and we're both bigger than YOU, than really you're just being insulting. Which is totally what she does anyway. Mostly to Debbie, because if she pisses me off, I just stop talking to her. But Debbie doesn't always know its happening. If Deb gets a new job, Kat's is better. If Deb loses weight, Kat's losing more. If Deb gets a new boyfriend, Kat's got three... and so on and so forth.

So today when she came in, posed in front of Deb's mirror and said, "I feel so FAT today..." I told her to can it. New rule: don't bring that kinda crap in here, because it spreads. And I for one am not dealing with it.

Which naturally offended her. And she goes, "But its how I was raised!"

And I say, "So was I. But I won't let it stick around for the rest of my life either."

Then she got all pouty.

Well, I'm sorry. But to paraphrase a good "House" quote, if she had tuberculosis it wouldn't be her fault either, but I wouldn't let her cough on me.

And, I am now working two jobs. I had one day off last week. I am tired and busy and literally have no time for foolish complaints and imaginary problems. There is nothing I can do for those, so I'm keeping it out of my life.

On the plus side, I have my friends, my work, a nice girl named Marcia talking with me, Debbie has been doing loads better as of late, and I am now looking to get a newer car within a month, hopefully. It could be tricky.

I guess my only real downside is that I miss Jamie. You never stop loving your first, eh?
<i>It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people. - Terry Pratchett</i>
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*Elle*
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Postby *Elle* » Mon Mar 29, 2010 6:31 pm

I thought you were engaged?
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xcheck24
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Postby xcheck24 » Mon Mar 29, 2010 9:24 pm

Delaney wrote:The next day she changed her relationship status on facebook. FACEBOOK. Oh my god, are we in high school again? She doesn't even bother to talk to me? She's 36! Shouldn't she have grown up by now?


haha There's a reason I don't even list my relationship status on Facebook. People like to make a huge deal over that crap
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Postby TheMudge » Wed Mar 31, 2010 9:46 am

There's a reason I don't do social networking AT ALL ...
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Fireflare77
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Postby Fireflare77 » Thu Apr 01, 2010 1:45 am

xcheck24 wrote:
Delaney wrote:The next day she changed her relationship status on facebook. FACEBOOK. Oh my god, are we in high school again? She doesn't even bother to talk to me? She's 36! Shouldn't she have grown up by now?


haha There's a reason I don't even list my relationship status on Facebook. People like to make a huge deal over that crap


:) I'm a little guilty here. I just changed from "single" to "in a relationship", but then I realized that I didn't want people hounding me aobut the details, so I deleted it... (big grin) That cut my problem down to size.
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