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by mslover
Fri Sep 10, 2004 4:02 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Someday (go ahead and crit pls)
Replies: 5
Views: 2012

This is sadly a familiar feeling to many people. Guys/men not ready to give a relationship the time and care it deserves and the difficulty in giving up on more than friendship. Strikes me to my very core.
by mslover
Fri Sep 10, 2004 3:59 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Full Cycle...crit fine
Replies: 3
Views: 1404

A little late but.....

I liked the images presented of summer being carefree and wanton. My only critique would be the that it seemed an awkward transition. It would seem to flow better without the autumn reference lines.

I love this line "winter will melt beneath the smile of spring".
by mslover
Fri Sep 10, 2004 3:24 pm
Forum: Poetry Prompts
Topic: Poetry Challenge for Sept.9..Triolet
Replies: 15
Views: 8170

A triolet, huh? I have always had a difficult time sticking to rules. My poetry is always free form or ends up sounding very stilted. Hmmm....
by mslover
Thu Sep 02, 2004 4:48 pm
Forum: Poetry Prompts
Topic: Poetry Challenge...Wed. Sept. 1, '04
Replies: 52
Views: 26649

Gee thanks <blush>

Here is my poem contribution...

Delicately she weaves
her tapestry of deceit
to lure hapless victims;
Quivering strands signal
their arrival and she wraps them gently
set in silk for another day.
by mslover
Thu Sep 02, 2004 4:25 pm
Forum: Poetry Prompts
Topic: Poetry Challenge...Wed. Sept. 1, '04
Replies: 52
Views: 26649

Very well written. I enjoyed it immensely.
by mslover
Thu Sep 02, 2004 4:22 pm
Forum: Poetry Prompts
Topic: Poetry Challenge...Wed. Sept. 1, '04
Replies: 52
Views: 26649

It is a preying mantis, is it not?
by mslover
Thu Aug 19, 2004 4:48 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Unrealized - crit ok
Replies: 1
Views: 1363

Unrealized - crit ok


Unrealized

falling hard
into the quicksand
sinking deeper
unable to catch my breath
drowning in you.

you stand aside
fists clenched
helpless and frozen
embraced by past ghosts.

my love unrealized
pulls me under.


by mslover
Thu Aug 19, 2004 3:56 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: FISH POND...(Mlou'sDailyPIM)
Replies: 2499
Views: 849738

Mlou - that's so nice. Here's what I came up with. I'm not even sure it makes any sense.
With dew kissed lips
you found the soft blanket
of silky clouds
dancing -
dawn reaches earth
delicious morning.
by mslover
Thu Aug 19, 2004 12:00 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Humanism - Crit is most welcome
Replies: 2
Views: 1631

I like this a lot.

My only comment would be to take out both the and's in the first stanza - they seem unnecessary and it seems to flow a little better without them.

Nicely done.
by mslover
Wed Aug 18, 2004 8:59 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Untitled - please crit. but be gentle...
Replies: 4
Views: 2040

Untitled - please crit. but be gentle...

Emotional ghosts of your past
rise unbidden from the scarred
graveyard of your heart
where they once were laid to rest
but now haunt our future.

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