Search found 64 matches

by spot
Mon Apr 25, 2005 12:05 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Sundays
Replies: 7
Views: 4392

Thank you all for your comments. I think it has been really hard as a mom to watch two people that you care about go thru this...maybe even harder then going thru it yourself.

Spot
by spot
Mon Apr 25, 2005 12:02 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: The End (crit and comments welcome!)
Replies: 3
Views: 2875

Mo~ I like this one...it smells like closure. Haha. Luv ya!
by spot
Mon Apr 25, 2005 11:52 am
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: keep still (crit please)
Replies: 8
Views: 4877

I just reread this to see the others comments. I still really like this. It's got such a great atmospheric feel to it...I'd love to see it when you do edit.

Spot
by spot
Thu Apr 07, 2005 10:56 am
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Sundays
Replies: 7
Views: 4392

Okay! I'm sorry...I always forget to put that crit/comments are welcome!! My fault.

Spot
by spot
Wed Apr 06, 2005 12:49 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Sundays
Replies: 7
Views: 4392

Sundays

You call me up on Sundays and we share tidbits of our lives highlights of our weeks. You tell me about the parties and the crazy stunts you've pulled. But you don't mention the girls and yet I know there've been some. I tell you about track practice and dance class but I don't mention him and yet yo...
by spot
Fri Mar 18, 2005 11:35 am
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: keep still (crit please)
Replies: 8
Views: 4877

I really enjoyed this Haina. You paint some truly beautiful word pictures with your poems and they make the reader almost feel like they are there...I can see these two people. I guess the only thing that threw me was the "summer solstice in december" line. Maybe I'm just being obtuse. I love the li...
by spot
Fri Mar 18, 2005 11:29 am
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: I Never
Replies: 4
Views: 3169

Thanks Mlou. I forgot to put on that crit was expected and welcomed. A friend said she thought it was too sing-songey and I said well I did have a definate tune in my head when it came out so perhaps it's a poor attempt at lyrics? As for the "near rhyme"...which ones in particular? I did change the ...
by spot
Thu Mar 17, 2005 9:47 am
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: I Never
Replies: 4
Views: 3169

I Never

I never think of you at all never wonder if you’ll call. And I don’t reach for you at night when I’m alone without the light. I don’t think that it’s unfair when I don’t find you there. But you’re with me when I dream and you’re in the songs I sing. It is never what it seems and I wake up with nothi...
by spot
Wed Mar 16, 2005 3:39 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: CRITS FOR REALLY BAD POETRY
Replies: 14
Views: 5848

I didn't go back that far...but my gosh is he funny! I hope to NEVER see one of my poems up there... :oops:

Seriously? You liked the dog one? Hmm...

Spot
by spot
Tue Mar 15, 2005 2:09 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Bring Me Back (crit is fine)
Replies: 9
Views: 4477

I knew it was about him...I'm the mom remember? Anyway I think this one is very good..straight from the heart. And after any relationship ends...especially longer ones...or dramatic ones...I think you have residual feelings for a long time after that you need to work out..and poetry is a great way t...
by spot
Tue Mar 15, 2005 1:48 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Empty (crit okay)
Replies: 7
Views: 4093

I like this one too. I love the line..."the air is still...like your heart". I think that's perfect! And so sad that some people don't let feelings into their lives. If you miss the pain...you miss the joy.

Spot
by spot
Sun Mar 13, 2005 10:40 am
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Bring Me Back (crit is fine)
Replies: 9
Views: 4477

Are you sure?? Sounds like him... :?

Anyway...I liked it...as your mom I'm not gonna critique it...I'll let others weigh in on that one.

Spot
by spot
Sun Mar 13, 2005 10:37 am
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Growth - crit welcomed
Replies: 7
Views: 4001

I really like the first stanza...very visual...the soap turning the hair on your arms gray. The whole thing is good but that stands out to me. And yeah, my neice just shaved her arms...she's nine. She also took a chunk out of the top of her hair cause she thought it was too thick. And a 13 year old ...
by spot
Fri Mar 11, 2005 12:38 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: english gothic (crit please)
Replies: 6
Views: 3549

Okay...I got what the poem was about...and I loved the ophelia reference. And I am all for foreshadowing...but I still think that whole stanza throws it off. Otherwise...I love the poem.

Again...not a technical critique (I'll leave that to the experts :wink: ) just my humble opinion.

Spot
by spot
Wed Mar 09, 2005 12:51 pm
Forum: The Writer's Life - Techniques, Characterization, Writing Ideas, & More
Topic: Jounals/Sketchbook
Replies: 48
Views: 25162

I started an online blog a few months ago...but then found out my daughter was reading it...hello? privacy anyone? So I gave it up. I stopped journaling because they can be found and read too. Maybe I shouldn't have secrets?:roll: Salmon~ I always found that some of my very best writing came about b...
by spot
Wed Mar 09, 2005 12:00 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Junebug -- DESPERATE FOR CRIT!
Replies: 29
Views: 16337

Okay...it's so too late to weigh in...but I agreed with luminosity. To my ear it sounds better with the extra syllable...

So how did it do?? Waiting to hear.... :?:

Spot
by spot
Wed Mar 09, 2005 11:54 am
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: a little pill
Replies: 3
Views: 3250

I know this feeling! Moving on is tough...wouldn't it be great if there were something to make you remember only the bad things from your relationship...so that you could move on easily? Anyway...I liked this. I hope you get to stop running soon...and breathe. Spot's daughter (gotta get my own sign ...
by spot
Wed Mar 09, 2005 11:51 am
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Getting Over You...crit is fine
Replies: 2
Views: 2481

Thank you!! Someone finally commented. I did go through it off and on for 8 miserable (and sometimes intensely wonderful) months before I finally told him good-bye for good. Sometimes you just have to let go.

Spot's daughter :wink:
by spot
Wed Mar 09, 2005 11:42 am
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: english gothic (crit please)
Replies: 6
Views: 3549

Personally I liked this. And I liked the "london by moonlight" bit. What I don't get is how the whole stanza about the little girl fits? It seemed out of place with the rest of the poem...but maybe I'm missing something. Other then that...I liked it, the tone, the feel, the images. Just my opinion. ...
by spot
Wed Mar 09, 2005 11:32 am
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Sound Familiar?
Replies: 3
Views: 2865

I liked this one alot too. Sad commentary on our society but genuine nuggets of truth.

Spot
by spot
Wed Mar 09, 2005 11:27 am
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: This is what happens...
Replies: 12
Views: 6530

This was great. I liked it even before I scrolled down and found out what it was about. And I love that quote from Sleepless in Seattle. Good luck with this situation...

Spot
by spot
Mon Jan 17, 2005 9:46 am
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Getting Over You...crit is fine
Replies: 2
Views: 2481

Getting Over You...crit is fine

Another from my daughter... Getting Over You I’m laying in bed waiting for the phone thinking you said you would call today. At last the phone rings I hear your voice shine thinking you’re going to say you love me. But yet again you leave me hanging on all the things you do- singing your own song. I...
by spot
Mon Jan 17, 2005 9:41 am
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Junebug -- DESPERATE FOR CRIT!
Replies: 29
Views: 16337

Count me as a fan of this one too. Short, sweet but with a good point. The last line throws me too though. I think it has to have the and between paused and said. Or it could even be " I sighed and said I know what you mean". Good job Kexxy. :)

Spot
by spot
Thu Dec 02, 2004 10:19 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: You Say...crit is fine
Replies: 0
Views: 1417

You Say...crit is fine

This is another one by my daughter.... You say you’ll call but you never do. You say you’ll be there but you never are. When I need you most I can’t find you. You get annoyed when I bring it up. You ask if it matters like you don’t care. Well baby it matters if only to me. MET 11/04
by spot
Wed Nov 17, 2004 11:24 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Secrets... (crit is fine)
Replies: 1
Views: 1703

Secrets... (crit is fine)

I just wanted you to know I’d still do it all again. I’d let you break me, make me go even knowing how it ends. I’d let myself fall once more underneath your wicked spell. Cause you know I still need more of the secrets that you tell. Secrets full of hope and lies dark dreams and endless desire. Jus...

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