Search found 30 matches

by dumbsheep1702
Tue May 17, 2005 5:13 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Bluebird/crit very welcome
Replies: 4
Views: 3185

thanks again , ahhh im 2 descriptive lol i cant help myself ](*,)
by dumbsheep1702
Wed May 11, 2005 2:40 pm
Forum: Member Introductions
Topic: purty_trash Introduction
Replies: 8
Views: 5449

sup buddy im a fellow newbie myself :byebye:
by dumbsheep1702
Wed May 11, 2005 2:10 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Journey
Replies: 8
Views: 10806

that really is a beautiful poem :wink:
by dumbsheep1702
Wed May 11, 2005 2:06 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Contention/ crit welcome
Replies: 4
Views: 2954

Contention/ crit welcome

Contention By Larry Bufalino My hands and feet are numb Nothing can be seen in my path or in my mind Under this oppression of what was once complete I struggle I struggle like a lion on its last day What is there, what isn’t, it matters to no degree Blood and sweat trickle down my forehead like inte...
by dumbsheep1702
Tue May 10, 2005 6:51 pm
Forum: Member Introductions
Topic: dumbsheep intro
Replies: 22
Views: 11694

hey funkywriter3, i really like that quote, its so true. yeah i've come to notice that a lot of the people on here arent teenagers, lol not that there's anything wrong with that but im glad u introduced urself :wink:
by dumbsheep1702
Tue May 10, 2005 6:21 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Junebug -- DESPERATE FOR CRIT!
Replies: 29
Views: 15244

uh i dont think there's anything wrong with it. :wink: actually i really like it
by dumbsheep1702
Tue May 10, 2005 6:12 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Bluebird/crit very welcome
Replies: 4
Views: 3185

Bluebird/crit very welcome

Bluebird By Larry Bufalino Oh little bluebird can you see what I see Your innocence so delicate and beautiful This is not to underhand such complacency Black beady eyes entrust your grace Bluebird, don’t follow my broken path My wounds weave a web of independent detention But you persist with wings ...
by dumbsheep1702
Tue May 10, 2005 6:03 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: A Spring Evening /crit very welcome
Replies: 5
Views: 3211

very true, thank u i forgot to take a look at this one before i put it on. usually i have tense problems when i write but i go back and fix it lol. i missed that ill fix that up now actually

thanks for the constructive crit :wink:
by dumbsheep1702
Tue May 10, 2005 5:58 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: A Blue Eyed Girl/ crit very welcome
Replies: 5
Views: 4094

yes that is a good suggestion i never realized that there was a sorter way to get that second line. And crude is probably a good word to use i know that it isnt the most commonly used word when ur describing a person u care about but in this case i do believe it's fitting

thanks
by dumbsheep1702
Tue May 10, 2005 5:51 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: A Mental Sliver
Replies: 3
Views: 2484

k well i guess i deserve sum of that crit, i asked for it. Uh what i meant by going back was the idea of removing onself from everything we know, going back before the age of corporate america, before goverments, before everything mankind has created. i just think that it would hold such a beauty. a...
by dumbsheep1702
Tue May 10, 2005 5:26 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: A Blue Eyed Girl/ crit very welcome
Replies: 5
Views: 4094

A Blue Eyed Girl/ crit very welcome

A Blue Eyed Girl By Larry Bufalino I know a girl with soft blue eyes They are so beautiful and clear I become immersed in their depth She doesn’t know me and I don’t know her but every once in a while I catch a glimpse of her Her humor is crude and honest shining a dim light in the darkness of my mi...
by dumbsheep1702
Tue May 10, 2005 5:22 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: If I Had the Day Off
Replies: 4
Views: 2682

wow, first of all i luv ur user pic....guess were like soul mates lmao i turn evil and kill u in the movie though. Um i really like ur poem i think the basis of it relates to how many people feel. I can definitely connect with it. keep it up ur a great writer :wink:
by dumbsheep1702
Tue May 10, 2005 5:02 pm
Forum: Member Introductions
Topic: dumbsheep intro
Replies: 22
Views: 11694

sry lol my bad by the way how often do people comment on poetry around here cuz i've had my stuff on here for about 2 hrs and i havent got any comments is there sumthin im supposed to do two activate or is my material just that wacked out :-P
by dumbsheep1702
Tue May 10, 2005 4:56 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: A Mental Sliver
Replies: 3
Views: 2484

A Mental Sliver
By Larry Bufalino

I wish I had a time machine
Like everyone who’s wish would have
On whispers wind it travels to and fro
But if I had this time machine wherever would I go
Back to the time of wind, of land, of shining sea and snow
by dumbsheep1702
Tue May 10, 2005 4:53 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Collage Poem
Replies: 2
Views: 2739

props thatz sum true originality :wink:
by dumbsheep1702
Tue May 10, 2005 4:44 pm
Forum: Member Introductions
Topic: hi, i'm new . . .
Replies: 35
Views: 21210

ello ello im tryin to write a horror book actualy.....trying is the key word lol um i like poems to :wink:
by dumbsheep1702
Tue May 10, 2005 4:39 pm
Forum: Member Introductions
Topic: dumbsheep intro
Replies: 22
Views: 11694

LMAO man everyone is tight wit the SW here im luvin it :-D
by dumbsheep1702
Tue May 10, 2005 4:33 pm
Forum: Member Introductions
Topic: dumbsheep intro
Replies: 22
Views: 11694

haha yeah im sort of a nerd , uh im sort of all over the place with my writing. Since I was bout 15 i've been trying to write a horror book but i only have about 20pgs right now. Other than that lil project i luv to write poetry, like i said in my intro its a good release for me......its sort of out...
by dumbsheep1702
Tue May 10, 2005 4:27 pm
Forum: Member Introductions
Topic: Hi From Minnesota
Replies: 15
Views: 9076

there's nothin that's invaluable everything has some meaning for good or bad
by dumbsheep1702
Tue May 10, 2005 4:24 pm
Forum: Member Introductions
Topic: Please introduce yourself...
Replies: 3
Views: 4244

ello ello :wink: i guess ur one of the people that run things round here i just wanted to say sup and i think thatz really ignorant that someone would pull sumthin like dat peace 8)
by dumbsheep1702
Tue May 10, 2005 4:17 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Alan
Replies: 2
Views: 1722

I really liked this one. Just a suggestion though, instead of using the name jen i think if u just said she it would make ur point even more powerful since others can then veiw themselves in that position. Im new here though so maybe thats a dumb suggestion i dont know just tryin to help. Its good t...
by dumbsheep1702
Tue May 10, 2005 4:12 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: The End (crit and comments welcome!)
Replies: 3
Views: 2659

I agree with purty trash also. im actually a new member here so i dont know how much expert advice i can give but after reading ur poem i felt like it could use a lil depth. this is not to say ur poem doesnt have a workable basis. obviously someone is gettin dumped in this but try and make the reade...
by dumbsheep1702
Tue May 10, 2005 3:51 pm
Forum: Member Introductions
Topic: dumbsheep intro
Replies: 22
Views: 11694

dumbsheep intro

Ello Ello, new member here :-D Well let me condense my life into this little blank space. My name is Larry and I'm 18 yrs old. I was born in New Hampshire but only lived there for 2 yrs. Then I moved to Maine. I guess my parents still weren't comfortable so we moved to Washington D.C. , then I ended...
by dumbsheep1702
Tue May 10, 2005 3:39 pm
Forum: Pondering Poetry - Share poems, work on form, learn types of poetry
Topic: Mooning away: crit welcome
Replies: 8
Views: 5338

it has a lot of feeling in it, and thats what its all about man ...feeling. It doesnt matter how good sumthin sounds it has to mean something :wink:

Go to advanced search